"Weird Al" Yankovic — One More Minute

[Verse 1] Well I heard that you're leavin' (Leavin') Gonna leave me far behind (So far behind) 'Cause you found a brand new lover You decided that I'm not your kind [Verse 2] So I pulled (I pulled), your name out (Name out), of my Rolodex And I tore all your pictures in two And I burned down the malt shop where we used to go Just because it reminds me of you [Refrain 1] That's right (That's right), you ain't gonna see me cryin' I'm glad (I'm glad), that you found somebody new 'Cause I'd rather spend eternity eating shards of broken glass Than spend... one more minute... with you [Verse 3] I guess I might seem kind of bitter You got me feelin' down in the dumps 'Cause I'm stranded all alone, in the gas station of love And I have to use the self-service pumps [Refrain 2] Oh, so honey, let me help you with that suitcase You ain't (You ain't) gonna break my heart in two 'Cause I'd rather get a hundred-thousand paper cuts on my face Than spend... one more minute... with you [Bridge] I'd rather rip out my intestines with a fork Than watch you goin' out with other men I'd rather slam my fingers in a door Again and again and again and again and again Oh, can't you see what I'm tryin' to say, darlin', I'd... [Refrain 3] Rather have my blood sucked out by leeches Shove an ice pick under a toenail or two I'd rather clean all the bathrooms in Grand Central Station with my tongue Than spend... one more minute... with you [Refrain 4] Yes, I'd rather jump naked on a huge pile of thumbtacks Or stick my nostrils together with Krazy Glue™ I'd rather dive into a swimming pool filled with double-edged razor blades Than spend... one more minute... with you [Outro] I'd rather rip my heart right out of my rib cage with my bare hands And then throw it on the floor and stomp on it 'til I die (gasp) Than spend... one more minute... with you