"Weird Al" Yankovic — TMZ

[Verse 1: "Weird Al" Yankovic] You're sort of famous, a minor celebrity And so it only makes sense the world would be Obsessed with every single thing you do They're running 'round with their camcorders in the night They're lurking patiently and hoping that they just might See something real embarrassing you do [Pre-Chorus: "Weird Al" Yankovic] The bad hair day and sweat-stained t-shirt That's the story that they're gonna feature With exclusive pics of your flabby behind You think you're all alone, but that's right when you'll find [Chorus: "Weird Al" Yankovic] A bunch of paparazzi popping out of nowhere Cameras in your face, and then suddenly You're on TMZ, you're on TMZ [Verse 2: "Weird Al" Yankovic] Following you when you're walking down the street And asking stupid questions while you're trying to eat So you cover your face, thinking to yourself "Hey, isn't this creepy?" And they're out there praying you'll have a big meltdown And take 'em on a little car chase through this whole town They'll be there with you when you're going to jail First on the scene for every wardrobe fail [Pre-Chorus: "Weird Al" Yankovic] You just picked up some transvestite Seconds later, it's up on the website Get a Vegas wedding, a quickie divorce And they'll be sneaking in, snapping pictures, of course [Chorus: "Weird Al" Yankovic] And if they ever catch you picking your nose Or stumblin' down the street on a drunken spree You're on TMZ Stalking you, just waiting by your front door Trailing you through airport security They're with TMZ, they're with TMZ [Skit: Tom Kenny] "We caught this Oscar nominee picking up dog poop!" "Is that a baby bump?" "I pronounce you guilty… of leaving the house while fat!" "Look who's drinking coffee!" "Everything celebrities do is fascinating!" [Bridge: "Weird Al" Yankovic] Oh, let me tell you It's getting to the point where a famous person can't Even get a DUI or go on a racist rant Those guys are all around, so you really shouldn't dare Go to every club in town if you've lost your underwear [Chorus: "Weird Al" Yankovic] Seems that every single time a star decides to Shave their head or ram their car into a tree They're on TMZ If they catch you peeing in the bushes Later on that night, well, I guarantee You're on TMZ, you're on TMZ [Outro: "Weird Al" Yankovic] You're on TMZ Every single celebrity knows they're gonna be There on TMZ