"Weird Al" Yankovic — Why Does This Always Happen to Me?

[Verse 1] I was watching my TV one night When they broke in with a special report About some devastating earthquake in Peru There were 30,000 crushed to death Even more were buried alive On the Richter scale it measured 8.2 And I said "God, please answer me one question Why'd they have to interrupt The Simpsons just for this?" What a drag, 'cause I was taping it and everything And now, I'll have to wait for the rerun To see the part of the show I missed [Chorus] Why does this always happen? Why does this always happen to me? Why does this always happen? Why does this always happen to me? Ba-ba-ba-ba (Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba) Ba-ba-ba-ba (Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba) [Verse 2] I was driving down the highway When all the traffic slowed to a crawl There was a twelve-car pile-up: Everybody dead And I saw brains and guts and vital organs splattered everywhere As well as my friend Robert's disembodied head And I thought "Oh, poor Rob. I just had lunch with him Hey, wait a minute, he still owes me money, what a jerk!" Well there's five bucks that I'm never gonna see again Plus now on top of everything else It looks like I'm gonna be late to work [Chorus] Why does this always happen? Why does this always happen to me? Why does this always happen? Why does this always happen to me? Ba-ba-ba-ba (Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba) Ba-ba-ba-ba (Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba) [Piano Solo] [Verse 3] Oh the other day my boss said we were running low on toner And he told me I should buy another case Well I told him I was busy But he still just kept on asking So I turned around and stabbed him in the face Oh and wouldn't you know it, my knife got stuck I guess that's probably bound to happen now and then But I'm afraid I may have bent the tip a little And I know that blade will never ever be quite as sharp again [Chorus] Why does this always happen? Why does this always happen to me? Why does this always happen? Why does this always happen to me? Ba-ba-ba-ba (Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba) Ba-ba-ba-ba (Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba)