Alan Menken — Dentist

[ORIN] When I was younger, just a bad little kid My mama noticed funny things I did Like shooting puppies with a B.B. gun I'd poison guppies and when I was done I'd find a pussycat and bash in its head That's when my mama said [CRYSTAL, RONETTE, CHIFFON, spoken] What did she say? [ORIN] She said, "My boy, I think someday You'll find a way to make your natural tendencies pay"[ORIN] “You'll be a dentist You have a talent for causing things pain Son, be a dentist People will pay you to be inhumane.”[GIRLS] “You'll be a dentist Pain Son, be a dentist Inhumane”[ORIN] Your temperament's wrong for the priesthood And teaching would suit you still less [ALL FOUR] Son, be a dentist You'll be a success [RONETTE] Here he is, folks the leader of the plaque! [CHIFFON] Watch him suck up that gas! Oh, my god! [CRYSTAL] He's a dentist and he'll never ever be any good [GIRLS] Who wants their teeth done by the Marquis de Sade? Oh that hurts! I'm not numb! [ORIN] Oh, shut up. Open wide. here I come![ORIN] “I am your dentist And I enjoy the career that I picked I am your dentist And I get off on the pain I inflict When I start extracting those molars You girls will be screaming like holy rollers”[GIRLS] “Dentist, goodness gracious Love it Dentist, fitting braces You really love it Don't try it Ooh-aah”[GIRLS] Dentist! [ORIN] And though it may cause my patients distress Somewhere in heaven above me, I know, I know that my mama's proud of me 'Cause I'm a dentist- and a success (spoken) Say ah [GIRLS, spoken] Ahh [ORIN, spoken] Say ah! [GIRLS, spoken] Ahh! [Orin] Now spit