Alan Menken — I Eliot Rosewater

[ELIOT, spoken] Mr. McAllister, are you duty-bound to carry out any missions I may give you, regardless of what my father or anyone else may say? [MCALLISTER, spoken] As legal counsel of the Foundation, I am. [ELIOT, spoken] Good. Then get this down. (sung) I, Eliot Rosewater Legally acknowledge Every child in Rosewater County said to be mine, as mine And I, Eliot Rosewater Send them all to college Cautioning them that taking's okay, but giving is divine And I, Eliot Rosewater Legally adopt Sons of the lonely, sons of the homely, shy Let them be Rosewaters My sons and my daughters Let them be fruitful and multiply (spoken) Draw up the papers at once, Mr. McAllister! [SENATOR, spoken] There must be something we can do. [MCALLISTER, spoken] Not a thing. Not a blessed thing! [ELIOT] Go tell the youth who's overweight, who sometimes wets the bed Who's still too shy to masturbate and flunks out of phys. ed Go tell the ones so common-place their dreams are sad and small Though acne scars may mar your face, your father loves you all And I, Eliot Rosewater Your adopted dad Love you to pieces, love you 'till I could cry Love you as Rosewaters My sons and my daughters Go forth, be fruitful Go forth, be fruitful Go forth, be fruitful And multiply