Alan Menken — The Rosewater Foundation

[ALL EMPLOYEES] Welcome to a flowing font of truth and good and cash If you're looking for the loot to toot a flute or cure a rash If you're down on luck and need a buck we'll fund you in a flash [ARTISTIC CONSULTANT] If you'd like to write a piece on Saint-Denis or Delacroix [FILE CLERK] If you must research the Church of Christ or works of Myrna Loy [EXECUTIVE] Don't be bashful, we've a stashful [ARTISTIC CONSULTANT] Don't be timid [BLANCHE] Don't be coy [ALL] Baring market crashes, floods, or worse, inflation Baring fiscal flops or fierce devaluation [APPLICANTS #1 & #2] In a world where next to nothing comes for free [BLANCHE] Bet you'd never thought you'd ever live to see [ALL] So divine a shrine to fine philanthropy As the Rosewater Foundation, NYC [EXECUTIVE] We've just handed Norman Mailer fifteen thou to vent his spleen [FILE CLERK, MAIL-BOY, & ARTISTIC CONSULTANT] Fly to us! Fly to us! [BLANCHE] Here's a grant to Will Durant and to the Reverend Fulton Sheen [FILE CLERK, MAIL-BOY, & ARTISTIC CONSULTANT] Apply to us! Apply to us! [APPLICANT #1] Me, I'm writing the biography of Butterfly McQueen [FILE CLERK, MAIL-BOY, & ARTISTIC CONSULTANT] Here's four grand for Orson Bean! [ALL] Drive to town, come down, fill out an application We're a boon to the artistic population [APPLICANT #2] They're as generous as anyone can be [APPLICANT #1] As enlightened and urbane as "Camera Three" [BLANCHE] We'll support you and we'll serve you herbal tea [ALL] At The Rosewater Foundation, LTD [APPLICANT #1, spoken] What time was your appointment with Mr. Rosewater scheduled? [APPLICANT #2, spoken] 10:30 this morning [APPLICANT #1, spoken] Mine was for 11. What time is it now? [APPLICANT #2, spoken] 4:45 [ARTISTIC CONSULTANT] Here's a copy of *Horizon* to amuse you while you wait [BLANCHE] As per usual, the president is just a little late [BLANCHE & ARTISTIC CONSULTANT] But unless you'd like to leave and ask for funding from the state [ELIOT, spoken] Hey can somebody give me a hand, please? I've got a lot of books here and... [ALL] Hail, Eliot Rosewater President and chairman Beacon of obliging noblesse Philanthropist deluxe Hail, Eliot Rosewater Rarest of those rare men [FILE CLERK] Sir you're late [BLANCHE] Your datebook's a mess [EXECUTIVE] Your wife called [MAIL-BOY] Here's your tux [ELIOT] It's a joy to buoy the Iroquois and liberate the Cree [ALL] Willingly! Willingly! [ELIOT] Help the Idaho Grand Opera to produce Die Valkyrie [ALL] Chillingly! Chillingly! [ELIOT] And we built a "Y" in Tenafly and two in Tennessee [ALL] Yes he did that! Yes-sir-ee! What a fella, fine example What a paragon, a saint So he is, so he is! What a pal to those who work in prose or poetry or paint We know he is, we know is! He's devoted and he's loaded So we haven't a complaint And we state without restraint He's the object of out abject adulation [ELIOT] I'm an outright blight of love and inspiration [ALL] He's the Rosewater Foundation, I.N.C.!