Andrew Gold — In Our Haunted House

[Intro] Woah, woah It's really comin' down All wet, man Let's duck in some place, over here, come here Open the door Alright, no way I'm goin' in there I don't care, just open it Oh, alright Let's go in, c'mon, man Okay, okay, okay Woah, look at this place, man! (Yeah, yeah) It's cool! I could like to leave It's like a haunted house Hey, the door! Uh-oh Mwahahaha Welcome, boys, come right in [Verse 1] Please come in, you're welcome here Mind the cobwebs and the bones May we invite you to spend the night? Make yourself at home Step this way, here's the living room Though "dead room" is actually, hmm, more correct 'Cause there hasn't been a living soul here Since Grandpa broke his neck [Chorus] In our haunted house We'll treat you like one of us But in our haunted house That could be hazardous [Verse 2] Browse around the kitchen Have a spoon, a fork, a knife You must excuse those ketchup stains We ate someone last night Here is your big bedroom, dears You'll love the creaky bed, heh-heh-heh You'll sleep just fine, but when you wake You still may feel half-dead [Chorus] In our haunted house The butler is a ghost The upstairs maid's been buried for years And the chauffeur's comatose In our haunted house Our hospitality Is something of which we're very proud Oh, do you take poison in your tea? [Bridge] Don't let the spiderwebs mess up your hair Don't mind the piano playing with no one there The crumbling bookshelves covered with dust One or two headless bodies, what's all the fuss? The dreadful pounding, the screams and moans It's just a typical night at home [Chorus] In our haunted house Things float through the walls You might see sights that chill the soul Be sure to wear a shawl [Verse 3] We'd love you to come in Stay a while and play Once you finally settle in You'll never go away We'll make sure of that [Outro] In our haunted house In our haunted house In our haunted house In our haunted house In our haunted house In our haunted house In our haunted house In our haunted house