Andrew Lloyd Webber — Super Duper Hula Hooper

(Murray's Club, a fairly seedy basement in Soho, relatively empty tonight, with a scattering of men in suits, each at his individual small table, some engaged in earnest conversation with respectably dressed but over-made-up young women. A small orchestra plays some jaunty late-fifties-type melody. A Crooner sings energetically into a microphone, standing in front of the tiny cabaret stage, on which, at the back, are three girls wearing skimpy grass skirts, topless, entirely motionless as the law required, one arm up holding a pineapple, among them an exceptionally pretty dark girl of sixteen with a mass of copper hair: CHRISTINE KEELER; in front of them, half a dozen Singer-Dancers, also grass-skirted and pineapple-fronded, revealingly dressed but not topless, all spinning hula-hoops. STEPHEN WARD moves confidently towards a table at the side and takes a seat. It's the summer of 1959.) [CROONER] If you wanna make friends Spin your body round and round! [GIRLS] Don't let your hoop Fall to the ground [CROONER] Everyone can do this Grab yourself a little fun [GIRLS] Follow me And see how it's done [CROONER] Long as you got rhythm You got all that you need [GIRLS] Don't be a party-pooper Be a Super Duper Hula Hooper! Super Duper Hula with me! Make believe you're in Waikiki Underneath the coconut tree Don't be a party-pooper Be a Super Duper Hula Hooper! [CROONER] Put your hoop around you Let your body start to sway [GIRLS] Feel the real world Slipping away [CROONER] C'mon, all you hoopers You'll feel great when you gyrate [GIRLS] Perfect dance For losing some weight [CROONER] Long as you got rhythm You got all that you need [GIRLS] Don't be a party-pooper Be a Super Duper Hula Hooper! Lift your lazy butt off that chair Hooping's like a breath of fresh air They hoop in Paris and in Times Square Everybody's hooping everywhere! Super Duper Hula with me Make believe you're in Waikiki Underneath the coconut tree Don't be a party pooper Be a Super Duper Hula Hooper! [CROONER] Ooh, yeah! Hooh! Thank you, thank you very much!