Andrew Lloyd Webber — The Rum Tum Tugger & 2014 London Revival Cast

[RUM TUM TUGGER, spoken] Me-ow! [COMPANY] The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat [MALE CAT] If you offer him pheasant he'd rather have grouse [FEMALE CAT] If you put him in a house he would much prefer a flat [MALE CAT] If you put him in a flat then he'd rather have a house [FEMALE CAT] If you set him on a mouse then he only wants a rat [MALE CAT] If you set him on a rat then he'd rather chase a mouse [COMPANY] The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious kitten For he will do as he will do And there's no doing anything about it! The Rum Tum Tugger is a terrible bore! [MALE CAT] If you let him in, then he wants to be out [MUNGOJERRIE] He's always on the wrong side of every door [BOMBALURINA] And as soon as he's at home, then he'd like to get about [MUNGOJERRIE] He likes to lie in the bureau drawer [MALE CAT] But he makes such a fuss if he can't get out [COMPANY] The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat For he will do as he will do And there's no doing anything about it! The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious beast His disobliging ways are a matter of habit [MALE CAT] If you offer him fish then he always want a feast [MALE CAT] When there isn't any fish then he won't eat rabbit [BOMBALURINA] If you offer him cream then he'll sniff and sneer [MALE CAT] If you put it away on the larder shelf [COMPANY] Then you'll catch him in it right up to his ears [RUM TUM TUGGER, spoken] For I only like what I find for myself I'm a big bad cat, I make my own decisions Never try to control me 'cause I won't listen I'm a curious, furious, the strongest beat An alley cat's got it whack, I'm running the streets They say you should hear me hiss On the edge of your seat I'm a rebel on the level with a devilish streak You give me a grouse, I want pheasant You give me a mouse? I'm not a peasant! You give me the biggest house down south to live in But I'm asking for a flat where the rats are biggest In fact, forget the flat, I want a house in Kingston! [COMPANY] The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat (spoken) Uh huh! [RUM TUM TUGGER] Let me in, I wanna be out [COMPANY] Uh huh! [RUM TUM TUGGER] When I'm at home, I wanna be about Attack you with my sharp scratchy claws I'm always on the wrong side of every door I've heard people say I'm a terrible bore You might catch me chillin' in the bureau drawer Catchin' Zs when I please when I snooze and snore But sure never met a cat like me before (sung) [COMPANY] For he will do As he will do (spoken) [RUM TUM TUGGER] If you feed me a fish then I'll shout for a feast Give me what I want or you'll get serious grief [COMPANY] Uh huh! [RUM TUM TUGGER] If you give me cream then I'll sniff and sneer And you'll catch me in it right to my ears I'm artful and knowing, I start the trouble I'm rowin' and I'm growin' and you're quicker than [???] I don't want hugs, don't care for snuggles When you're on my fur, I don't purr, I struggle Jumping on your sewing, now your task is doubled There's nothing I like more than a horrible muddle (sung) [COMPANY] The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat For he will do As he will do And there's no doing anything about it! The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat For he will do As he will do [RUM TUM TUGGER] And there's no doing anything And there's no doing anything And there's no doing anything about it!