Barbra Streisand — If a Girl Isnt Pretty

[Mrs. Strakosh:] Fanny, when people pay good money in the the-ay-ter-- Especially the male element--they want something to look at! If a girl isn't pretty Like a Miss Atlantic City All she gets in life Is pity and a pat [Mrs. Brice:] Is a nose with deviation Such a crime against the nation? Should I throw her into jail Or drown the cat? [Mrs. Strakosh, O' Malley, and Meeker:] She must shine in ev'ry detail Like a ring, you're buying retail Be a standard size that Fits a standard dress [Mrs. Strakosh:] When a girl's incidentals Are no bigger than two lentils [Mrs. Strakosh, O' Malley, and Meeker:] Then to me, that doesn't spell success [Eddie:] If a girl isn't pretty Like a Miss Atlantic City She should dump the stage And try another route Any guy who pays a quarter For a seat just feels he oughter See a figger that his wife can't Substitute Kid, my heart ain't made of marble But your rhythm's really horr'ble And that map of yours just ain't no Valentine Everything you got's about right But the damn thing don't come out right So forget it, kid And just resign [Chorus:] If a girl isn't pretty If a girl isn't pretty If a girl isn't pretty If a girl isn't pretty If a girl isn't pretty She should get a job Go get a job-- Get any job Get a weekly pay 'Cause if a girl isn't pretty Like a Miss Atlantic City She's a real Miss Nobody, U.S.A