Barenaked Ladies — Some Fantastic Ivory and Ivory

[Verse 1: Ed Robertson] One day I will build a fountain Drink and never grow old Then I'll market an elixir That will eliminate the common cold Find your sickness on my list Pay up front and make a wish [Verse 2: Steven Page] One day I will work with animals All the tests I'm gonna do All my stuff's completely natural And when we're done we'll boil 'em down for glue We can use to readhere Your lips to mine if you were here [Chorus: Steven Page] There's a lot I will never do (There's a lot) Some fantastic, I know it's true But none as much as my want to be with you [Verse 3: Ed Robertson] I can't stand to wait in line long So I built a new machine It just measures up the distance And then eliminates the folks between [Verse 4: Steven Page] One day I'll construct a satellite And I'll name it after you Cause you were the greatest friend of all Except for when you split my lip in two To see the look upon your face As I launch you into space [Chorus: Steven Page] There's a lot I will never do (There's a lot) Some fantastic, I know it's true But none as much as my want to be with you [Bridge: Ed Robertson] Bye-bye, self-respect I haven't had much of it since you left I missed out on the best of you [Verse 5: Steven Page] Someday I will find the secret To your social chemistry Then I'll print it on a t-shirt And it'll make you want to be with me And if I wear it past your work You'll see other guys are jerks [Ed Robertson] Much like pheromones for flies You will not avoid my eyes [Chorus: Steven Page] There's a lot I will never do (There's a lot) Some fantastic, I know it's true But none as much as my want to be with you [Bridge: Ed Robertson] Bye-bye, self-respect I haven't had much of it since you left I missed out on the best of you Bye-bye, self-respect I haven't had much of it since you left I missed out on the best of you [Outro: Ed Robertson] Bye-bye Bye-bye Bye-bye