Betty Hutton — Doin It the Hard Way

At the early age of three It first occurred to me A girl should always try to improve herself While the others played with toys I practiced charm and poise And finished Dr Eliot's Five Foot shelf I exercised each morning Cold-creamed my face each night Saw my dentist twice a year Curbed my appetite And so I modestly admit It didn't help one single bit Some girls can make any man dream By flashing an innocent gleam Me I do an ip-up Curl my upper lip up Light a roman candle and scream I have to do it the hard way Some girls can wear any old rags And capture the wolves and the stags Me I dress in sables Walk across the tables Waving three American flags I have to do it the hard way Let's say there's a dance They're playing a waltz And I want romance That's when I begin turning somersaults Some girls can keep men on their toes By smiling and throwin' a rose Me I wrack my noodle Whistle "Yankee Doodle" Balancing a broom on my nose Oh I'm a-telling ya why I have to do it the hard way [Instrumental Break] I have to do it the hard way Suppose there's a park A boy on a bench I'm out for a lark So I make him fall with a monkey wrench When someone like Hedy Lamarr Steps into the swankiest bar All the fellas get up Light her cigarette up Me I'd have to smoke a cigar And then they call me a car Doctor is there a chance for me? Can't you cure this insanity? I'm tired of tearing up the town being one of the sights Wearing funny hats trimmed in neon lights Why must I always be bettered and scorned Doin' everything the hard way?