Bing Crosby — Bon Vivant

I had a dear old guardian And he had ways Edwardian A tea every day, if he burped he would say Oh I beg your pardion to me Now I’ve obtained seniority And come to my majority I’ve traveled far Tasted snails, caviar So with some authority I say If you want a Bon Vivant to brighten up the scene Or a jolly extra man to give the party sheen Strolling on the Parthenon, or bowling on the green I play mandolin ‘n tambourine Will travel If you want a Bon Vivant who only aims to please Punting on the Hellesponts for at my lady’s tease Tickling her fancies And her risibilities Just drop a note to me My services are free For I’m the Bon Vivant you want All around the ante room The butler chased the maid Out the door and down the path And through the leafy glade Using my binoculars, I followed the parade While the soup was getting cold He still perused her Though his eel persistent, still his efforts went for not She opened up an early leave And never would be caught When the race was over, and seeing her distraught I took her in my arms Allaying her alarms Saying I’m the Bon vivant you want Now for the life men dream about Days that a king might scheme about Once I have got my palatial yacht I shall slowly steam about the brine Fie on the word ‘economy’ I’ll live a life of bonhomie Sail into port for a life pour le sport Full of rare gastronomy and wine Visiting my auntie boo in tiny liechtenstein Strolling through ze meadowlands amongst ze lowing kine Flirting mit ze milking maid mit cheeks of apple shine Strolling up the timber line und sheeing Dueling the Hapsburgs ah ze carefree days zey vere Yust before the chancellor positioned up ze Ruhr Drinking beer at Heidelberg and holding hands with her My consort is the maid, who made the butler fade, so if you need a pair for your piét de tierre Just drop a note to me and for a modest fee I’ll be the bon vivant you want