Bob Dylan — Talkin Bear Mountain Picnic Massacre Blues

[Verse 1] Well, I saw it advertised one day That the Bear Mountain picnic was coming my way "Come along and take a trip We'll bring you up there on a ship Bring the wife and family Bring the whole kids" Yippee [Verse 2] Well, I run right down and bought a ticket To this thing called the Bear Mountain picnic Little did I realize I was in for a pleasant, funny surprise Had nothing to do with picnic Didn't come close to a mountain And I hate bears [Verse 3] Took the wife and kids down to the pier There was six thousand people there Everybody had a ticket for the trip "Oh well," I said "it's a pretty big ship Besides, anyhow, the more the merrier" [Verse 4] Well, we all got on, and what do you think? That big old boat started to sink More people kept a-piling on That old ship was a-going down Funny way to start a picnic [Verse 5] Well, I soon lost track of my kids and wife So many people, I never saw in my life That old ship was sinking down in the water There was six thousand people trying to kill each other Dogs a-barking, cats a-screaming Women a-yelling, men a-flying, fists a-flying Paper flying, cops a-coming, me a-running Maybe we just better call off the picnic [Verse 6] I got shoved down, got pushed around All I remember was a moanin' sound Don't remember one thing more All I remember is waking up on the shore My arms and legs were broken My feet were splintered My head was cracked I couldn't walk I couldn't talk, smell, feel Couldn't see Didn't know where I was I was bald Quite lucky to be alive though [Verse 7] Well, feeling like I just climbed out of my casket I grabbed back hold of my picnic basket Took the wife and kids and started home Wishing I'd never got up that mornin' [Verse 8] Now, I don't care just what you do If you want a have a picnic, that's up to you But don't tell me about it, I don't want to hear it You see, I just lost all my picnic spirit Stay in my kitchen, have my own picnic Have a picnic in the bathroom [Verse 9] Well, it don't seem to me quite so funny What some people are going to do for money There's a brand new gimmick every day Just to take somebody's money away I think we ought to take some of these people And put them on a boat, send them up to Bear Mountain For a picnic