Charlie Daniels — Uneasy Rider 88

[Verse] Me and my buddy got us a wild hair and figured we wanted to go somewhere So we loaded up in my ragtop Chevrolet We had a little bit of money and a whole lot of show And with Hank Jr. blarin' on the radio We got us a tank full of gas and we was on our way We figured we'd go down to New Orleans We were barrelin' down old 17 When a man with a blinking red light was on our tail He said you were doing sixty in a fourty-five But I'm gonna let you go this time But if I catch you again, I'm gonna slap you in the county jail We said "Thank you, sir, you sure been nice And you ain't gonna have to tell us twice" And we were southbound and down with the wind blowin' in our faces We kept on rolling and pretty soon The radio was cookin' out a Haggard tune And we were pullin' into Houston and checkin' out all them places I was feelin' dry and I said "I think we ought to stop and get ourselves a drink" And old Jim said "Yeah, 'cause we got time to kill" We kept on rollin' and I'd seen this spot And we pulled into the parking lot Of this place called the "Cloud Nine Bar and Grill" We walked through the door and the place was jammed The lights were low, they had a punk rock band And some orange haired feller singin' about suicide I said "Jim, this ain't our kind of place" He said "Well, let's just have one round anyway" So against my better judgement we walked on inside Went up to the bar and we sat down This fella walked up and said "I'll buy this round" And he sat down on the bar stool next to Jim He looked like a girl, but he talked like a guy He had lipstick on and mascara in his eyes And everybody in that place looked just about like him I said "Jim, this ain't our kind of bar" Let's just go on out and get back in the car 'Cause there's gonna be trouble Ain't no sense in taking a chance We was gettin' up, gettin' ready to leave Somebody grabbed old Jim by the sleeve Was this good looking girl, was asking my buddy to dance I said "Jim, don't do it, there's somethin' missin'" There's fellas dancin' and felleas kissin' There's a fella in high-heeled shoes wearin' panty hose He said "Partner, I just can't turn this down" You just go over there and have one more round I'll dance with the lady and we'll get on down the road So he walked away and left me alone And this funny looking fella kept comin' on And he was makin' me mad with some of the things he said And then he put his hand on my knee I said "If you don't get your paw off me I'm gonna locate your nose around on the other side of your head" He said "I love it when you get that fire in your eye" I said "Well, partner, try this on for size" And I unloaded on him and he went out like a light Everybody in that place must have been his friend They all headed for me, I said "This is the end" But where I come from we don't give up without a fight They were screamin' and yellin' and scratchin' and clawin' I was punchin' and hittin' and kickin' and pawin' I was holdin' my own 'cause I've been in a scrap or two Old Jim come runnin' up out of the blue And that gal he was with come runnin' up too And proceeded to beat on me with a high heel shoe I grabbed her by the hair, it come off in my hand And that beautiful girl was just a beautiful man Old Jim just got sick right there on the floor He dropped that dude like a shot from a gun Smeared his lipstick, made his makeup run And me and old Jim started fightin' our way to the door Man, we lit out of there in that Chevrolet And I put in on the floor and she stayed that way We was goin' down the highway doing 'bout a hundred and ten We was headed for home and we was gettin' nearer Then a red light came on the rear-view mirror And that same blame cop was pullin' us over again Well, I'm sittin' here in this county jail I had to call my daddy to go our bail But I learned me a lesson that I never will forget again I've done give up drinking, I've give up bars And runnin' around the country in souped up cars I'm goin' back where the women are women and the men are men