Eazy-E — Merry Muthafuckin Xmas

[Intro: Dolemite, Baby, Mother & Eazy-E] Come on over, honey and give your uncle Dolemite a kiss *Kissing sounds* Well, what you want, baby? Would you tell me a story? You want me to tell you a story? Hell yeah, me too! Yes, honey, I'mma tell you a story about the bad-ass Eazy-E, he was drinking whisky and gin at the age of three. Listen and listen well, he's a bad motherfu- Gimmie that god damn book! Here, let me read you this one. Christmas in Compton. It was a silent night, yes, a holy night until Mr. Claus turned into Santa muthafuckin' Wright [Carolers] Deck the hall with boughs of holly Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la! 'Tis the season to be jolly Merry Christmas, motherfucker! *Gunshots* [Verse 1: Eazy-E] Merry muthafuckin' Christmas and a ho ho ho! While I'm riding that cock under the mistletoe Now dashing through the snow In a candy red top 6-4 (hittin' them switches) Over the hills I go Laughing at this ho Nuts on her chin ring Making me feel right Oh what fun it is to know That I'm gonna get this pussy tonight So ring them bells, ring them bells She's taking it all the way Oh what fun it is to watch her suck my dick this way, hey Ring them bells, ring them bells She's taking it all the way Oh, what fun it is to nut while she's sucking my dick Okay, stop! This is the season to get bitten Compton crime lick and I'm smoking on this shit [Interlude: Santa] Ho ho ho, come sit on my face - I mean lap And tell me what you want for Christmas, ho, ho [Verse 2: Menajahtwa] I want a sleigh ride A Christmas Eve stick of rum She said I slide down the chimney and I'm gonna cum A VCR on the set with nothing but porno flicks Get some Rudolph the red nose reindeer Getcha that gum like a everlastin' gobstopper Give me a hump for his cock will be the party poppa I dig a ho, crack a dough by the nuts oh I want to be having a good time fuckin' in the snow I made him drop to his knees Yeah you know what's up I said here's some candy canes eat'em up I send him down, they jumping down, swinging by my toes Send me some cheese, I want the candy cream and the loot I want Santa to send me a little jack horny guy I want him to shake me a clunchy for a chick prod So all on the hunt, bon appetite And a condom in a tree [Bridge: Eazy-E] All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth My two front teeth, my two front teeth All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth Yo where's ya rhyme tell me Buckwheat [Verse 3: Buckwheat] Buckwheat is a wascal That's no Christmas And all the toys, boys and girls Fuck ya wishes I not happy, overjoyed in this motherfucker No indo under my tree so Santa be a sucker No shit on the roof, cough up Rudolph's nuts When I was young I was the only kid Who had enough guts to be Good ole hearing on the East I'd stay awake just to let America know That Santa was a fake I used to believe in Saint Dick when Elvis was alive But all the fucking bullshit got played when I was five Years old, just stay young, bold writing Singing "Silent Night", caroling, reciting Now all I want for Christmas is my indo wreath I got my two front teeth Uncle Eazy be the jeezy and just spread me a leaf Little kids, don't cry When you find out the Santa Claus is just a fucking lie [Bridge: Eazy-E] On the third day of Christmas, my homeboys gave to me Three pounds of indo Two birds of cocaine And a A, muthafuckin' K, bitch [Hook: Menajahtwa (Bitches) & Eazy-E] Eazy-E, oh, Eazy-E Show us how you treat those bitches I saw mommy fucking Eazy Claus Close the door, little bitch, I'm getting these draws I'ma tell my daddy if ya ass don't stop I don't give a fuck, I'm getting Christmas cock Ho, ho, ho and away I go Oh Saint Nick's got a dick like a pole Well, where's our shit? This motherfucker's cheap Shut the fuck up, bitches and go back to sleep [Verse 4: Will 1X] Yo black, what you want for Christmas? (Yo black, I want a job) For my Christmas, all the fucked up people Want some corn-on-the-cob A Jew will eat some matzoh ball soup, but a nigga'll eat some Chitlins, watermelon, cornbread, and some Froot Loops Now who's caroling in my window Smokin' up indo Mechalecha hi, make a high note [Verse 5: apl.de.ap] Get out my fucking yard with your camel You wanna get busy and Santa like a.. I am a rhymer The Atban Klann will make shit slam, it's Christmas time The Simple Simon Christmas make me jam, jam, jam [Verse 6: Will1X] Yo black, what you want for Christmas? Yo black, I want some cash So I can buy some indo, chronic and some hash [Verse 7: Atban Klann (Will1X & apl.de.ap)] Yo, here comes the Atban Klann rough and rugged A rump pa bum bum A rump pa bum bum [Refrain] Merry muthafuckin' christmas Merry muthafuckin' christmas Merry muthafuckin' christmas And have a fucked up new year Merry muthafuckin' christmas Merry muthafuckin' christmas Merry muthafuckin' christmas And have a fucked up new year Merry muthafuckin' christmas Merry muthafuckin' christmas Merry muthafuckin' christmas And have a fucked up new year Merry muthafuckin' Christmas Merry muthafuckin' Christmas Merry muthafuckin' Christmas And have a fucked up new year Merry muthafuckin' Christmas Merry muthafuckin' Christmas Merry muthafuckin' Christmas And have a fucked up new year [Outro: Eazy-E & Mother] You Bitch! And they all went to prison, and lived fucked up lives ever after. The End