Edward Lear — The Akond of Swat

Who, or why, or which, or what, Is the Akond of SWAT? Is he tall or short, or dark or fair? Does he sit on a stool or a sofa or a chair,        &nbsp &nb sp; or SQUAT,        &nbsp The Akond of Swat? Is he wise or foolish, young or old? Does he drink his soup and his coffee cold,        &nbsp &nbs p; or HOT,        &nbsp The Akond of Swat? Does he sing or whistle, jabber or talk, And when riding abroad does he gallop or walk        &nbsp ; or TROT,        &nbsp The Akond of Swat? Does he wear a turban, a fez, or a hat? Does he sleep on a mattress, a bed, or a mat,        &nbsp ; or COT,        &nbsp The Akond of Swat? When he writes a copy in round-hand size, Does he cross his T's and finish his I's        &nbsp with a DOT,        &nbsp The Akond of Swat? Can he write a letter concisely clear Without a speck or a smudge or smear        &nbsp &nbs p; or BLOT,        &nbsp The Akond of Swat? Do his people like him extremely well? Or do they, whenever they can, rebel,        &nbsp &nb sp; or PLOT,        &nbsp At the Akond of Swat? If he catches them then, either old or young, Does he have them chopped in pieces or hung,        &nbsp &nbs p; or SHOT,        &nbsp The Akond of Swat? Do his people prig in the lanes or park? Or even at times, when days are dark,        &nbsp &nbs p; GAROTTE,        &nbsp The Akond of Swat? Does he study the wants of his own dominion? Or doesn't he care for public opinion        &nbsp &n bsp; a JOT,        &nbsp The Akond of Swat? To amuse his mind do his people show him Pictures, or any one's last new poem,        &nbsp &nbs p; or WHAT,        &nbsp For the Akond of Swat? At night if he suddenly screams and wakes, Do they bring him only a few small cakes,        &nbsp &nb sp; or a LOT,        &nbsp For the Akond of Swat? Does he live on turnips, tea, or tripe? Does he like his shawl to be marked with a stripe,        &nbsp &n bsp; or a DOT,        &nbsp The Akond of Swat? Does he like to lie on his back in a boat Like the lady who lived in that isle remote,        &nbsp &n bsp; SHALLOTT,        &nbsp The Akond of Swat? Is he quiet, or always making a fuss? Is his steward a Swiss or a Swede or Russ,        &nbsp &nbs p; or a SCOT,        &nbsp The Akond of Swat? Does like to sit by the calm blue wave? Or to sleep and snore in a dark green cave,        &nbsp &nbs p; or a GROTT,        &nbsp The Akond of Swat? Does he drink small beer from a silver jug? Or a bowl? or a glass? or a cup? or a mug?        &nbsp ; or a POT,        &nbsp The Akond of Swat? Does he beat his wife with a gold-topped pipe, When she let the gooseberries grow too ripe,        &nbsp &nbs p; or ROT,        &nbsp The Akond of Swat? Does he wear a white tie when he dines with friends, And tie it neat in a bow with ends,        &nbsp &nbs p; or a KNOT.        &nbsp The Akond of Swat? Does he like new cream, and hate mince-pies? When he looks at the sun does he wink his eyes,        &nbsp &nbs p; or NOT,        &nbsp The Akond of Swat? Does he teach his subjects to roast and bake? Does he sail about on an inland lake        &nbsp ; in a YACHT,        &nbsp The Akond of Swat? Some one, or nobody, knows I wot Who or which or why or what        &nbsp Is the Akond of Swat?