Eminem — Baruch College Freestyle

Part I: "Soul On Ice (Diamond D Remix)" - Ras Kass [Verse] The final problem is solved by throwin' sulfuric acid all over your back to see your spinal column dissolve Droppin' bodies like it was domino season My phenomenal legion will shoot out Your fuckin' abdominal region Slim Shady, responsible for your permanent stillness Just escaped from the hospital with terminal illness Itchin' to rip your fuckin' frame out 'Cause I ain't got nothing to lose Like that movie that just came out Callin' your name out, first, last and your middle initial Your mom, your dad, and your pregnant widow will miss you And anybody else poppin' some shit'll go with you 'Cause I ain't tryna hear it like a political issue So until I can leave with enough funds I'mma shove guns up in the mouths of your loved ones Drown 'em face down in the bath while the tub runs Got a rap sheet that's longer than Tubby's sub buns Part II [Verse] And I'ma kill it, just so y'all think that I can't come off the top And I'll be forced to rock unorthodox styles from off the top of the dome with a popular poem Forget a damn team, I can stop you alone Rappers thinkin' they puttin' out they records 'cause they sell But they can't't fuck with what me– we doin' here with A.L Y'all don't wanna do it when we kick it When we kick the fluid, rappers don't wanna get into it Y'all knew it 'cause the feds want me They headhunt me, I'm Ted Bundy "I ain't dead, I just fled country" Said bluntly, a cannibal, animal, fed monthly Eating bread crunchy, cement bed's comfy Head's lumpy, funky like a dead skunk be Med flunkie, jump off cliffs with thread bungie Wearin' red undies and a black cape Rollin' through the hood cracked out bumpin' your whack tape I'm comin' through dumpin' Change your rap name to Richard Jewell Cause you ain't blowing up nothing I'm showin' up puffin' Throwin' up, drinkin' Killin' braincells 'til I'm slow and not thinkin' Growin' up stinkin', born with bad odor Give me Hennessy, but please don't add soda Now who's doper? You couldn't beat me when I'm sober I'm off my fuckin' rocker like your grandma tippin' over, Slim Shady "Son, where you from son?" "Yo, I'm from Detroit city" "Uh huh" "I'm bout to do a little something like this A little something like this." "Ok, drop that shit." "Bust it, bust it" Yo, I hang with a bunch of hippies And wacky tobacco planters Who swallow lit roaches and light up like jack-o-lanterns Outsidaz baby, and we suin' the courts Cause we dope as fuck and only get a two in the Source Yo, they never shoulda booted me outta reform school Deformed fool, taking a shit in a warm pool Till they threw me out the Ramada Inn I said it wasn't me, I got a twin (Oh my God, it's you! Not again!) It all started when my mother took my bike away Cause I murdered my guinea pig And stuck him in the microwave After that, it was straight to the forty ouncers Slappin' teachers and jackin' off in front of my counselors Class clown freshman, dressed like Les Nessman Forget the next lesson, I'll pass the test guessin' And all the other kids said "Eminem is a thizz head He'll never last, the only class he'll ever pass is phys-ed" Maybe true, 'til I told this girl in gym class That she was too fat to swim laps she need a Slim Fast (Who? Me?) Yeah, girl you so big You stepped, walked into Vic Tanny's And stepped on Jenny Craig She picked me up to snap me like a skinny twig Put me in a headlock, then I thought of my guinea pig I felt the evilness and started transformin' It began stormin', I heard a bunch of cheerin' fans swarmin' Picked that bitch by her hair, drug her across the ground And threw her up to the highest Diving board to toss her down Sorry coach, it's too late to tell me stop While I drop this girl face down and watch her belly flop, cause it's like that And I come in and I start wildin' and shit Then I be busting a lyric And rappers don't believe I'm freestyling it Well here it goes when I'm kicking lyrical flows From your head to your toes So that every rapper in this place knows Cause when it comes to the freestyle Coming off of the top of the dome I'm knocking your mouth and ya off, so who you copying off? Stop being soft, I'm standing on top of your loft Killing you off slowly, like Roberta Flack I've never heard of wack MCs that try to step to me, I'll break your verta-back Or vertebrae, increase the murder rates In 79 states... Yo, check it I'm bout to pass the mic to the next MC who wanna step up and flex With the techs, but make sure your shit is fresh Come on, wreck it, who wanna be next? It goes like this: Broke the rubber, busted a nut up in your mother So how do you feel about having another little brother Nasty motherfucker, talking trash like a trucker Snatch your bitch up out your track I'll smack her up and fucked her Always talk shit high, smoking chocolate Thai So y'all can die, just for walking by giving an awkward eye I've lost my motherfucking marbles Smelling like a brewery Droolin' at the way your jewelery sparkles Head full of charcoal, smoked out brain particles Burning holes in clothes articles A retarded fool since I started school Burned the weed before I learned to read, disregarded rules Skip the classes to blaze the blunt ashes Kissing front dashes from smashing up Cars like stunt crashes Hall passes for restrooms, chewing mushrooms Doing rush fumes in the lunch room Looking nervous, liquor in my thermos Hung with hermits that carry guns without permits Staring at the bitch with firm tits Jacking off, aiming straight for both lips when my sperm spits Set it off Rappers get beheaded if they soft Yo they get they wires crossed Rappers try to step to me but I'm so ill I'll fire your boss And this is all freestyle, killing it While I'm filling it with adrenaline, rappers be feeling it Like it was braille, so y'all can touch me anywhere Cause I want you to feel me Rappers wanna kill me, but they don't thrill me So check it, I'm bout to wreck when I make the record Cause I'm, skinny like an anorexic girl headed for the exit Running butt naked away from just being date raped Rappers? I twist 'em into a great shape And throw 'em in the Great Lakes 'Cause I'm from the Michigan state For fishermans' sake, I throw 'em and toss 'em in Rappers try to step to me But this is the Holocaust and you'll never win Cause I've forever been bent, forever demented Rappers try to step to me but their shit is sweet-scented And I'm demented, and if I said it I meant it Killin' any MC cause I'm Infinite, and when it Comes to the way that I'm spittin' lyrical infinite ammunition And putting a clip in this lyrical track that I just be rippin' Crushing it, killing it, taking your best line and hushing it Taking your shit and flushing it down the toilet Taking your biggest plot and foil it Rappers can't uncoil it, I'll take my shit and aluminum foil it Then throw it in the microwave and watch burn up 'Cause I'mma blow up Rappers? I make 'em ill enough to throw up Don't show up if you come to the battle "Can I speed it up? Just a little bit? Alright that's cool. Alright Bust it, bust it, bust it, bust it, bust it This one for Quest." Some people say I'm strange, I tell them ain't shit changed I'm still the same lame asshole with a different name Came late to the last show with a different dame Brain ate from the last O' that I sniffed of 'caine You know you're spaced the fuck out like George Lucas When your puke is turning to yellowish-orange mucus So when I grab a pencil and squeeze it between fingers I'm not a rapper, I'm a demon who speaks English Freak genius, too extreme for the weak and squeamish Burn you alive till you screaming to be extinguished Cause when I drop the science Motherfuckers tell me to stop the violence Start a fire and block the hydrants I'm just a mean person, you never seen worse than So when Slim gets this M-16 bursting You getting spun backwards Like every word of obscene cursing On the B-side of my first single with the clean version Stopping your short life while you're still a teen virgin Unless you get a kidney specialist and a spleen surgeon In the best hospital possible for emergency surgery To try to stop the blood from your Ruptured sternum internally I'll take it back before we knew each other's name Run in the hospital and snatch you out your mother's frame I'll take it further back than that Back to Lovers' lane, to the night you were thought of, and Cock block your father's game I'll plead the fifth like my jaws were muzzled So suck my dick while I take a shit And do this crossword puzzle And when I'm down with ten seconds left in the whole bout I'mma no a head-butt so hard, I knock us both out No doubt