Eminem — Stuff To Never Rhyme The Donts

(These are the rules) This is brought to you by Alchemist (That's right) Mr. Porter Umm... These are the hip-hop don'ts (Royce is here. Royce is absolutely here) Starting now, yes Royce da 5'9" is here If you have an emergency it cannot be with an urgency And if it is with an urgency in your rush to emergency surgery You cannot be burned in third-degree (At all) At all And if you're gonna murder me It cannot be like you never heard of me You gotta know it's you have to know me (You can go to surgery for a burn but it just can't be third degree) Yeah yeah you could go if it's If it's a second-degree burn okay You can be rushed to emergency surgery But there can be no urgency Absolutely not No urgency (If you want to be a pimp) you cannot have a limp (No, straight walk he must walk straight line, straight line if you want to be a pimp, in your rhymes. This is a fact) Yes you you know (No wounded pimps!) You can be either or You can be a pimp, and if you are a pimp and that's what you choose to do that's fine It's all good, just do not have a limp (Absolutely not) You cannot be a mobster and eat lobster (At all. You better be allergic to shellfish) (Eat something else, Goddamit) If you are a mobster Stay the fuck away from lobster (And, and for anybody that want to start a war And you want to drop a bomb It cannot be on Vietnam Vietnam's already over you can't drop bombs) You cannot drop a bomb like Vietnam (You cannot drop a bomb like anything. Fuck that. No more bomb dropping) If it's gonna be a missile it cannot be a SCUD missile It cannot be a SCUD missile If you're gonna freestyle it cannot be 'til you're senile So, you can freestyle that's fine, but do not do it until you're senile Just before you're about to push to the point of senility You cannot die hard You cannot die hard like Bruce Willis (Yes, yes) No more no more (Your poems can't be popular They can't be popular Can't be off of the dome) If it's off of the dome it cannot be a popular poem (Nobody can know it okay) No more off the top of the head Off the top of the dome Off the cerebellum None of that shit No more, no more (Now if you're getting brains from a girl There's no way you can become smarter from that You cannot become smarter from brains You can, like she gave me brains and I'm fucking genius? No. No) If a girl gives you brain it cannot make you smarter (You gotta be dumb as fuck) You can get brain that's fine Just do not come out of it a smarter person (No, no) Speaking of smarter person: knowledge and college You are not allowed to, you can have knowledge But it better not be from college (You better be in high school) (No, no) You cannot manage to do damage No more No more manage to do damage If you're gonna manage something it cannot be damage Stay away from damage (If you have, if you have For anybody that's got one skill Do not use it for any means, by any means to pay bills Your skills cannot pay the bills) If you have skills you cannot use them to pay the bills (You think just because you're in the booth it's the fucking truth? No! You can lie in the booth too) From now on, lie in the booth Because you cannot be in the booth to spit the truth to the young youth No more If you're in the booth you have to stay away from truth (You can lie in the booth) Yes you can have have a backpack This is serious, this is serious (Listen to this) I don't care if you have a backpack in your first verse You got three verses and you try to have a knapsack in the third verse? (Uh uh. Absolutely not!) No! You cannot have a backpack and a knapsack! (Get the fuck outta here. Pick another song) You pick one or the other (Pick another song. Go to hell) Pick a fucking fanny pack, I don't care But you cannot have a backpack and knapsack (What is wrong with you) And if there's gonna be violence it cannot rhyme with silence (No, no no) In advance we're telling you that (It's gotta be loud. It's gotta be loud, screaming, horrible violence) You cannot have a riot and be quiet (No) (Royce: I hate to break it to you bro, but that shit gotta be 1 minute long...) (We gonna break it up!) (You cannot hit the block at all by any means with a Glock, you cannot...) You can't wait, be on the block with the Glock And make it cock (No no no. It's too much, it's too much) No block Glock cock No more of that (You know what ? I'm gonna just go out there and say this No more jewelry temperature I don't care how cold, what temperature degree your fucking jewelry Jewelry doesn't have a temperature) Yes no, it cannot be frozen below 400 million degrees Like it just has to, if you're gonna- It cannot be a temperature (It's true. What if it's 90° outside and you got jewelry on? You fucking hot. Stop lying. You ain't cold 'cos you got jewelry. That's a lie. Stop lying to the people) You cannot be on the level with the devil You cannot - (Party. You can't party, don't party with a lil Bacardi) You're gonna be, if you're gonna be lyrical You better not - You better stay the fuck away from miracles (That's it. No miracles) (You just a regular mortal human you don't perform miracles if you lyrical) No no no No more love in the club No more If I go in VIP they don't need to see ID, right (No more come on ) (They know who you are if you're going to VIP they know your face, you paid for it) If you're gonna get buried it cannot be in the cemetery If you are in the cemetery you cannot be buried No more (Leave it alone) And you can't, you cannot If you go to jail you cannot make bail If you're gonna have swagger You cannot be like Mick Jagger (You gotta be like Lou Ferigno or someone like that) You can be like Mick Jagger but you... it's one or the other You have to have one or the other No more rhyming Mick Jagger with swagger, no No more spectacular with vernacular (You got to stay away from that one) Why do you feel that you have to say that a pencil is a utensil A pencil is a fucking utensil! Right or wrong? It's already a utensil you don't have to make (It's a double negative!) Once you got the pencil you already have the utensil The utensil is the pencil so you don't need to You cannot use a vest to protect your chest (Come up with some other shit Come up with something else for it to protect. Get creative) Maybe the vest protects your abdominals (If someone's gonna murder you they obviously heard of you right? How do you...?) I think we went we went over that but I do think that is important to stress Because if I murder you like I never heard of you What is the difference? Do I not feel as bad because I murdered you because I never heard of you? (It's fucking stupid) And if I did hear of you I might actually feel bad, it my weigh on my conscious or something? (Royce: ...What kind of gratitude do you get from murdering a person you don't know anyway?...Yeah you wanna know...) (You get no points. It makes no sense) If you're gonna be near death it cannot be on your last breath You cannot You can't be on your last breath near death But if you've got bodies it's not like John Gotti You cannot have bodies like John Gotti You cannot rhyme casket with basket, no more Money, funny, honey, bunny, no more (Static, attic, no, it's over) If you like static, you cannot be an addict for it (Moderation. Static in moderation. No addictions) Moderation, static in moderation, static in moderation (You cannot be addicted to static. Forget it. Those days are over) You can't you can't You can start static, if you start static just you cannot get addicted to it If you become an addict for static, it's automatic (Ooh you can't be automatic either. It has to be manual) It cannot, yeah, yo Manual and it cannot be - The static has to be... The static cannot be automatic I think this is- I think this is good (It's a good start) Yeah (I think they'll be a better MC if they follow these rules) Yes, this will make you If you really want to be if you really want to be considered one of the greats (Mmm-hmm) You can't do any of this shit And if you're gonna keep it real, you cannot pack the steel You can pack the steel but you probably shouldn't keep it real Keep it fake (Royce: Be a fake ass motherfucker) Yep be fake with the steel or be real without the steel You cannot keep it real and pack the steel You cannot rip shop in hip hop to the tip-top, you just can't You can't (Stay ground level stay ground level) Ground level If you're gonna make me drip drop cuz I flip flop I cannot be in flip flops If you're a new up-and-comer right in hip-hop and you don't understand the history of hip-hop, that these things have been rhymes way too many times by now, we're just giving you, you know what I'm saying, “The Don'ts” Listen I'm telling you something, I'm trying to talk to you, I'm telling you something I'm telling you something young 'un. You're coming up in this game? These are the fucking rules, like it or not. You cannot say this shit, and if, (Facts! Big facts!) and if you come up missing it cannot be like Hoffa. No. No more missing like Hoffa. I think they found Hoffa anyways, didn't they? Yeah they found Hoffa. So you can't. No more missing like Hoffa