Eminem — The Kids Unreleased Demo

[Verse 1] Hey there, little boys and girls Hey there, little boys and girls (Mmkay?) Today we're gonna to learn how to poison squirrels But first, I'd like you to meet my friend Bob (Huh?) Say hi Bob! ("Hi, Bob!") Bob's 30 and still lives with his mom And he don't got a job 'Cause Bob sits at home and smokes pot But his twelve-year-old brother looks up to him an awful lot And Bob likes to hang out at the local waffle spot And wait in the parking lot for waitresses off the clock When it's late and the lot gets dark And fake like he walks his dog, drag 'em in the woods And go straight to the chopping blocks And even if they escaped and they got the cops The ladies would all be so afraid, they would drop the charge 'Til one night Mrs. Stacey went off the job When she felt someone grab her whole face And said not to talk But Stacey knew it was Bob and said: "Knock it off!" But Bob wouldn't knock it off 'Cause he's crazy and off his rocker Crazier than Slim Shady is off the vodka You couldn't even take him to Dre's to get Bob a doctor He grabbed Stace' by the legs as chopped it off her (AAH!) And dropped her off in the lake for the cops to find her But ever since the day Stacey went off to wander They never found her, and Bob still hangs at the waffle diner And that's the story of Bob and his marijuana And what it might do to you So see if the squirrels want any—it's bad for you [Hook] The kids, the kids! Don't forget about the kids, the kids! Shady, what about the kids, the kids? (?) The kids, the kids! Shady, what about the kids, the kids? You gotta save the kids! [Verse 2] My penis is the size of a peanut, have you seen it? Fuck no, you ain't seen it, it's the size of a peanut (Hehehehe!) Speakin' of peanuts, you know what else is bad for squirrels? Ecstasy, it's the worst drug in the world If someone ever offers it to you, don't do it Kids, two hits'll probably drain all your spinal fluid And spinal fluid is final, you won't get it back So don't get attached, it'll attack every bone in your back Meet Zach, twenty-one years old After hangin' out with some friends At a frat party, he gets bold And decides to try five, when he's bribed by five guys (C'mon!) And the peer pressure will win every time you try to fight it Suddenly, he starts to convulse And his pulse goes into hyperdrive And his eyes roll back in his skull {​​​*blblblblblb*}​​​ His back starts to look like the McDonald's Arches He's on Donald's carpet, layin horizontal, barfin' {​​​*BLEH*}​​​ And everyone in the apartment starts laughin' at him "H- hey Adam, Zach is a jackass, look at him!" 'Cause they took it too, so they think it's funny So they're laughing at basically nothing Except maybe wasting the money Meanwhile, Zach's in a coma, the action is over And his back and his shoulders Hunched up like he's practicin' yoga (*gasp*) And that's the story of Zach, the ecstasy maniac So don't even feed that to squirrels, class 'Cause it's bad for you [Hook: Teacher] The kids, the kids! Shady, what about the kids- Don't forget about the kids, the kids! [Verse 3] And last but not least, one of the most humungous Problems among young people today is fungus It grows from cow manure They pick it out, wipe it off, bag it up And you put it- put it- put it- put it- put it-