Flanders & Swann — The Gnu Song

(spoken) Here's another animal song (sung) [Verse 1] A year ago, last Thursday, I was strolling in the zoo When I met a man who though he knew the lot He was laying down the law about the habits of baboons And the number of quills a porcupine has got So I asked him: What's that creature there? He answered "Nyeh, h'it's a h'elk" I might have gone on thinking that was true If the animal in question hadn't put that chap to shame And remarked "I h'ain't a h'elk, I'm a g-nu" [Chorus] I'm a g-nu I'm a g-nu The g-nicest work of g-nature in the zoo I'm a g-nu How d'you do? You really ought to k-now wa-who's wa-who I'm a g-nu Spelt G-N-U I'm g-not a camel or a kangaroo So let me introduce I'm g-neither man nor moose Oh, g-no, g-no, g-no - I'm a g-nu [Verse 2] I had taken furnished lodgings down at Rustington-on-Sea Whence I travelled on to Ashton-under-Lyne it was actually And the second night I stayed there I was wakened from a dream Which I'll tell you all about some other time Among the hunting trophies on the wall above my bed Stuffed and mounted was a face I thought I knew A bison? No, it's not a bison An okapi? S'unlikely Could it be a hartebeest? I seemed to hear a voice [Chorus] I'm a g-nu A g-nother g-nu I wish I could g-nash my teeth at you I'm a g-nu How d'you do? You really ought to k-now wa-who's wa-who I'm a g-nu Spelt G-N-U Call me bison or okapi and I'll sue G-nor am I in the least Like that dreadful hartebeest Oh, g-no, g-no, g-no G-no, g-no, g-no - I'm a g-nu G-no, g-no, g-no - I'm a g-nu