Frank Zappa — A Token of My Extreme

[Lyric Note 1] Arriving at L. Ron Hoover's modernistic office / cathedral / ware-house / condominium complex, Joe is greeted by a pre-recorded message and a dramatically illuminated image on a wall-sized TV screen [Intro: L. Ron Hoover] Welcome to the First Church of Appliantology! The White Zone is for loading and unloading only! [Chorus: L. Ron Hoover] Don't you be tarot-fied It's just a token of my extreme Don't you be tarot-fied It's just a token of my extreme Don't you never try to look behind my eyes You don't wanna know what they have seen Don't you never try to look behind my eyes You don't wanna know what they have seen [Verse 1: Joe] Some people think That if they go too far They'll never get back To where the rest of them are I might be crazy But there's one thing I know You might be surprised At what you find out when ya go! [Lyric Note 2] And thus, having rationalized his expedition to L. Ron's modernistic office / cathedral / warehouse / condominium complex, JOE seeks the answer to his problem [Verse 2: Joe & L. Ron Hoover] Oh, oh, oh, Mystical Advisor What is my problem, tell me, can you see? Well, you have nothing to fear, my son! You are a Latent Appliance Fetishist, it appears to me! That all seems very, very strange I never craved a toaster or a color T.V A Latent Appliance Fetishist Is a person who refuses to admit to his or herself That sexual gratification can only be achieved Through the use of machines! Get the picture? [Verse 3: Joe & L. Ron Hoover] Are you telling me I should come out of the closet now, Mr. Ron? No, my son! You must go into The Closet! What? And you will have Eh? Hey! A lot of fun! That's where they all live So if you want an appliance to love you You'll have to go in there and get you one Well, that seems simple enough! Yes, but if you want a really good one You'll have to learn a foreign language! German, for instance? That's right A lot of really cute ones come from over there! Fifty bucks, please! [Lyric Note 3] And a cheerful group of Appliantologists dance into the room wearing aluminum foil lab smocks, lock arms in a circle around JOE, making sure he pays in full, all the while singing with L. RON as he delivers his final instructions [Chorus: Appliantologists] If you've been modified It's an illusion, and you're in between Don't you be tarot-fied It's just a lot of nothin' so what can it mean? If you've been modified It's an illusion, and you're in between Don't you be tarot-fied It's just a lot of nothin' so what can it mean? If you've been modified It's an illusion, and you're in between [Outro: Central Scrutinizer] This is the Central Scrutinizer... Joe has just learned to speak German Now, get this, here's why he did it! He's gonna go to this club on the other side of town It's called The Closet... And they got these Appliances in there that really go for a guy Dressed up like a housewife who can speak German (you know what I mean) ...so Joe's learned how to speak German He goes in this place and he sees these little Kitchen Machineries Dancing around with each other, and he sees this one... That looks like it's a cross between an industrial vacuum cleaner And a chrome piggy bank with marital aids stuck all over its body... It's really exciting... and when he sees it, he bursts into song...