Frank Zappa — Call Any Vegetable Freaks and Motherfu

This is a song about vegetables They keep your regular They're real good for you Call any vegetable Call it by name Call one today When you get off the train Call any vegetable And the chances are good Hey heyeyey the vegetable will respond to you Oo oo, La la la laaa The vegetable will respond to you Oo oo, La la la laaa Call any vegetable Pick up your phone Think of a vegetable Lonely at home Call any vegetable And the chances are good Hey heyeyey the vegetable will respond to you Oo oo, La la la laaa The vegetable will respond to you Oo oo, La la la laaa Roota-bay-ay-ayga Roota-bay-ay-ayga Roota-bay-y-y-y . . No one will know If you don’t want to let 'em know No one will know 'Less it’s you that might tell 'em so Call and they'll come to you Smilin' and covered with dew Vegetables dream, vegetables dream Of responding to you Standing there shiny And proud by your side Holding your joint While the neighbors decide Why is a vegetable Something to hide? To hide, to hide, to hide Shoob shoob Shoob shoob [continues] You know, lotsa people don't bother about their friends in the vegetable kingdom They think: What can I say? What can a person such as myself say unto a vegetable? Let's think of some of the things That you could say to a Vegetable The first thing that comes to my mind is: I've got a picture of you on my bathroom wall Sitting on the toilet Another thing that you might be able to say, would be: "What's a girl like you doing in a place like this." Do you like my new car? It’s real cool Which Holliday Inn are you staying at? The one by the airport? We got to get up real early in the morning And fly out of here Where you playing tomorrow Tierra Del Fuego Or you could say: Muffins . . . Yeahhhh Pumpkins . . . Yeahhhh Wax paper . . . Yeahhhh Caledonias, Mahoganies & Elbows & Green things in general . . And soon, a new rapport . . . you and all your new little green and yellow buddies, grooving together . . . Oh no! Maintaining their coolness together! Worshipping together in the church of your choice . . . (only in America . . . ) God bless America Sieg Heil Sieg Heil God bless A. . Call any Vegetable. Call it by name You gotta call one today When you get off the train Call any vegetable And the chances are good WOW! That the vegetable will RESPOND to you! Oh god Oh God, we’re coming together What a pumpkin Hance!