Frank Zappa — Dickies Such An Asshole Halloween 73- late show

One 'n one is eleven! Two 'n two is twenty-two! Won't somebody kindly tell me What the government's tryin' t' do . . Dickie's just too tricky For a chump like me to use Well, you'd take that sub-committee serious, boy You might get a seizure from the evenin' news Well Millions 'n millions of dollars . . Much as he might need . . He could open up a chain of motels, people On the highway, yes indeed! Quadrophonic desperation! You know, there'd be a cable all under your bed Well, if you just might break some wind in your slumber The FBI is gonna get your number GONNA GET YA GONNA GET YA GONNA JUMP UP THE SUB-COMMITTEE AND GET YA! Gonna get your number The FBI Gonna get your number The FBI Gonna get your number The FBI Gonna get your number The FBI Done got your number The FBI Done got your number The FBI Gonna get your number The FBI Gonna get your number Gonna get your number Gonna get your number You know, I'm tryin' not to worry Oh, I'm tryin' not to care But you know, I get delighted When some microphone's not there Can't get no private conversations Nowhere, nowhere In the USA Can't wait 'til the rest of the people all over the world Find out that their government Is just the same ol' way . . I wanna tell you something right now I wanna tell you something right here I wanna tell you about the man up there I wanna tell you about the man over there The man in Washington The man in San Clemente The man over here The man down there I'm talking about Tricky Tricky Dickie Tricky Tricky Talkin' 'bout Bebe Talkin' 'bout Billy Talkin' 'bout Bebe Billy Agnew Tricky Everybody that you ever put your trust in before What you gonna do right now? You gotta look around and say, "Hey!" What happened? I put my X on that line I put my X in that square for you, you said you're gonna do this You said you're gonna do that You promised me this Promised me that Promised me then Told me when Said how Said when Let me hear you say Tricky Tricky (Tricky) Tricky (Tricky) Let me hear you say Tricky . . Let me hear you say Tricky . . Let me hear you say Dickie . . Tricky (Tricky) Dickie (Dickie) Tricky (Tricky) Dickie (Dickie) Tricky (Tricky) Dickie (Dickie) Tricky (Tricky) Dickie Trick Dick I want to tell you something about Tricky Dickie. He cheated! And he lied! Cheated on you Cheated on me Cheated on them Cheated on everybody all over the world I'm gonna tell you something else about Dickie. He's gonna keep on cheating and lying Wait a minute . . How long we got here? Three more years One year to cheat One year to lie One year to scheme One year to run around and say, "It wasn't me" Another year to run around and say, "It was him" Another year to burn up tapes Another year to edit some tapes Tricky Dickie's been cheating Lying, yeah . . They cheated They lied They told me that they were gonna help me They cheated You know they lied They said they wanted my number Let me tell you just one more thing What we gonna do from here? What we gonna do next time? What we gonna do when elections come along? What we gonna do about Tricky? What we gonna do about Dickie? Are they going to impeach him? Are they going to let him go? Do we have to live with this? Do we have to die with this? Are we gonna die for it? Are we gonna live for it? What are we gonna do? Let me hear you say Yeah! Yeah! Come on now, let me hear you say Tricky Dickie eats shit Wait a minute . . Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah (He eats it) Yeah (He eats it) Yeah (He eats it) Yeah (He eats it) Wait a minute . . Wait a minute, let's go on with the song already . . Oh . . All them big shots got all the money Switzerland and everywhere They're strictly from commercial And if you find out they don't care Oh Lord, Oh Lord Oh Lord, Oh Lord Oh Lord, Oh Lord Oh Lord, Oh Lord Oh Lord, Oh Lord Oh Lord, Oh Lord Oh Lord, Oh Lord Oh Lord Please don't make no reservation In the GOP for me Just take that San Clemente Magnetic Deviation And make it say No Vacancy My favorite part of the song and it goes like this . . DICKIE'S SUCH AN ASSHOLE We mean it, Dick We mean it, Bebe We mean it, Billy All you guys, stuff it! Wee-ooo Thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much