Frank Zappa — Dinah-Moe-Humm Philly 76

I couldn't say where she's coming' from But I just met a lady named Dinah-Moe Humm She stroll on over, say look here, bum I got a forty-dollar bill says you can't make me cum (No! Y'jes can't do it) She made a bet with her sister who's a little bit dumb She could prove it any time all men was scum I don't mind that she called me a bum But I knew right away she was really gonna cum (So I got down to it) Whipped off her bloomers 'n stiffened my thumb An' applied rotation to her sugar plum I poked 'n stroked till my wrist got numb But I still didn't hear no Dinah-Moe Humm Dinah-Moe Humm Dinah-Moe Humm Dinah-Moe Humm Where's this Dinah-Moe Comin' from I done spent three hours An' I ain't got a crumb From the Dinah-Moe, Dinah-Moe, Dinah-Moe From the Dinah-Moe Humm I got a spot that gets me hot An' you ain't been to it I got a spot that gets me hot An' you ain't been to it Got a spot that gets me hot But you ain't been to it Got a spot that gets me hot But you ain't been to it But I can't get into it To get myself out of it No! I gotta get out of it To get myself into it I gotta get into it To get myself out of it But I gotta be out of it To get myself into it (She looked over me with a glazed eye And some bovine perspiration on her upper lip area And she said, now listen this, she said . . . ) Just get me wasted An' you're half-way there 'Cause if my mind's tore up Then my body don't care I rubbed my chinny-chin-chin An' said my-my-my What sort of thing Might this lady get high upon? The forty-dollar bill didn't matter no more When her sister got nekkid an' laid on the floor She said Dinah-Moe might win the bet But she could use a little ______ if I wasn't done yet I told her . . Just because the sun Want a place in the sky No reason to assume I wouldn't give her a try So I pulled on her hair Got her legs up in the air An' asked if she had any cooties in there (Whaddya mean cooties! No cooties on me!) She was buns-up kneelin' (BUNS UP!) I was wheelin' an dealin' (WHEELIN' AN' DEALIN' AN' OOOOH!) She surrender to the feelin' (SHE SWEETLY SURRENDERED) An' she started in to squealin' Dinah-Moe watched from the edge of the bed With her lips just a-twitchin' an' her face gone red Some drool rollin' down From the edge of her chin While she spied the condition Her sister was in Boy, she quivered 'n quaked An' she clutched at herself While her sister made a joke About her mental health Until Dinah-Moe finally Did give in But I told her All she really needed Was some discipline, I said . . Kiss my aura . . . Dora . . It's real angora Would y'all like some more-a? Right here on the flora? An' how 'bout you, Fauna? I can see that Fauna wanna How about you, Flora? (Do I wanna?) I don't know, do you wanna? (I don't know . . . ) Go ahead, Fauna, swallow it, Fauna, go ahead, swallow it (Well, I know I have something dirty to do) Listen, wipe it on this Awright, now look D'you think I could interest you In a pair of zircon-encrusted tweezers? What you think? (Well, I don't know if I like tweezers quite enough) Every night is the same thing! She tells me she's got a charley horse in her tongue (But I do have a charley horse in my tongue) That's an old one, Fauna, listen No excuses, this time you get the tweezers We're gonna have to sterilize 'em so . . Awright, you're ready? I couldn't say where she's coming' from But I just met a lady named Dinah-Moe Humm She stroll on over, say look here, bum I got a forty-dollar bill say you can't make me cum (No, no! Y'jes can't do it) She made a bet with her sister who's a little bit dumb She could prove it any time all men was scum I don't mind that she called me a bum But I knew right away she was really gonna cum (So I got down to it) I whipped off her bloomers 'n stiffened my thumb An' applied rotation to her sugar plum I poked 'n stroked till my wrist got numb You know I heard some Dinah-Moe Humm A little Dinah-Moe Humm Dinah-Moe Dinah-Moe Dinah-Moe Dinah-Moe Little Dinah-Moe Little Dinah-Moe Little Dinah-Moe Little Dinah-Moe Little Dinah-Moe Little Dinah-Moe Little Dinah-Moe . . FZ: Ray White on guitar, Patrick O'Hearn on bass, Terry Bozzio on drums, Eddie Jobson on keyboards and violin, Bianca on vocals, tambourine and Fender Rhodes piano. Thanks a lot for coming to the show, oh, wait a minute! Fido on poodle. Hope you enjoyed it. Good night! FZ: Thank you! Well . . . Alright, here's a little something to get you up on your feet