Frank Zappa — Dinah-Moe Humm Baby Snakes version

I couldn't say where she's comin' from But I just met a lady named Dinah-Moe Humm She strolled on over, say "Look here, bum, I got a forty-dollar bill says You can't make me cum . . (No way! Y'jes can't do it") She made a bet with her sister (who's a little bit dumb) She could prove it any time all men was scum I don't mind that she called me a bum But I knew right away she was really gonna cum (So I got down to it) Whipped off her bloomers 'n stiffened my thumb An' applied rotation to her sugar plum I poked 'n stroked till my wrist got numb But I still didn't hear no Dinah-Moe Humm Dinah-Moe Humm Dinah-Moe Humm Dinah-Moe Humm Where this Dinah-Moe Comin' from I just spent three hours An' I ain't got a crumb From the Dinah-Moe, Dinah-Moe, Dinah-Moe From the Dinah-Moe Humm (Moo-ah!) Got a spot that gets me hot You ain't been to it Got a spot that gets me hot You ain't been to it Got a spot that gets me hot You ain't been to it Got a spot that gets me hot You ain't been to it An' I can't get into it Unless I get out of it An' I gotta be out of it To get myself into it An' I can't get into it Unless I get out of it An' I gotta get out of it Before I get into it (She looked over at me with a glazed eye And some bovine perspiration on her upper lip area And she said . . . and here's what she said . . . ) "Just get me wasted An' you're half-way there 'Cause if my mind's tore up Well, then my body don't care . . . " I rubbed my chinny-chin-chin An' said, "My-my-my! What sort of thing Might this lady get high upon?" The forty-dollar bill didn't matter no more When her sister got nekkid an' laid on the floor She said Dinah-Moe might win the bet But she could use a little (OW!) if I wasn't done yet I told her: "Just because the sun Want a place in the sky No reason to assume I wouldn't give her a try . . . " So I pulled on her hair Got her legs in the air An' asked if she had any cooties in there WHADDYA MEAN, 'COOTIES'! NO 'COOTIES' ON ME! She was buns-up kneelin' BUNS UP! I was wheelin' an' dealin' WHEELIN' AN' DEALIN' AN' OOOOOH! She surrendered to the feelin' SHE SWEETLY SURRENDERED An' she started in to squealin' Dinah-Moe watched from the edge of the bed With her lips just a-twitchin' an' her face gone red Some drool rollin' down From the edge of her chin While she spied the condition Her sister was in She quivered 'n quaked An' clutched at herself Her sister made a joke About her mental health Until Dinah-Moe finally Did give in But I told her All she really needed Was some discipline . . I said Kiss my aura . . . Dora . . That's right! You know why? Because obviously it was real angora And then I said Would you all like some more-a? Right here on the flora? An' how 'bout you, Fauna? Do you wanna? Brian: Frank, Frank . . . up on stage, up on stage, Frank . . FZ: What? Brian: Take me up man, I want . . FZ: Take you up? Brian: Yeah! FZ: Sure! . . . Wait a minute, now that you're up on stage, what's your name? Brian: Brian Rivera FZ: Are you having a OK Halloween, Brian? Brian: I'm having an excellent time! Sing for Greenwich, man, Greenwich, Connecticut . . FZ: Alright now, I'll tell you what, Brian, do you know the words to this song? Brian: Well, in a way, in a way . . FZ: OK, here's . . . Brian, this is your golden opportunity. This is the Frank Zappa Perform-Alike Contest, and here's what you're going to do: We're gonna play the song again and you're gonna pretend you're me, and you pretend to sing the song and dance all across the stage and give these people a very good Halloween show, would you? Brian: Right! Yeah! Yeah! FZ: OK, ready? Work! Work! I couldn't say where she's comin' from But I just met a lady named Dinah-Moe Humm (Great!) She strolled on over, say, "Look here, bum I got a forty-dollar bill says You can't make me cum . . (Y'jes can't do it)" She made a bet with her sister (who's a little bit dumb) She could prove it any time all men was scum I don't mind that she called me a bum But I knew right away she was really gonna cum (So I got down to it) Whipped off her bloomers 'n stiffened my thumb An' applied rotation to her sugar plum I poked 'n stroked till my wrist got numb You know I heard some Dinah-Moe Humm Dinah-Moe Humm Dinah-Moe Little Dinah-Moe A Dinah-Moe Little Dinah-Moe Little Dinah-Moe Little Dinah-Moe again Little Dinah-Moe Little Dinah-Moe again Little Dinah-Moe Little Dinah-Moe again Little Dinah-Moe Little Dinah-Moe again Little Dinah-Moe Little Dinah-Moe again Little Dinah-Moe Little Dinah-Moe again Little Dinah-Moe Little Dinah-Moe again (Hey! How come you guys aren't singing it? Wait a minute, wait a minute . . . ) Dinah-Moe . . Dinah-Moe . . Dinah-Moe . . Dinah-Moe . . (That's right!) Dinah-Moe . . Dinah-Moe . . Dinah-Moe . . (Give me that hat!) Alright! FZ: Alright, alright . . . What? "San Ber'dino"? No, no, not yet . . . I'll tell you what. Boy is this thing hard to hold on your head! Let's do another song . . . here . . Guy In The Audience: "San Ber'dino"! FZ: No no, we'll do that later . . . Hey thanks man, you do a pretty good imitation of me . . . Nice fingernail polish! Really good! Really good! I like that . . . Let's wait, look at, show the camera, show the camera your fingernails . . . very good, nice . . . Alright! What's this? Thank you! What? OK! Thank you! Wait a minute! Ah . . . take these . . . OK!