Frank Zappa — Dont Eat The Yellow Snow Chicago 78

Dreamed I was an Eskimo Frozen wind began to blow Under my boots 'n around my toe Frost had bit the ground below Was a hundred degrees below zero And my momma cried: You don't really look like an Eskimo And my momma cried again: You don't really look like an Eskimo And my momma cried again: You don't really look like an Eskimo, no Nanook, no no Nanook, no no Don't be a naughty Eskimo, hey! (Get back home to yo' mama Get back home to yo' mama That's right, I said yo' mama Hee haw, I said yo' mama) Save your money: don't go to the show Well I turned around an' I said: HO HO (All together now) Well I turned around an' I said: HO HO (One more time) Well I turned around an' I said: HO HO An' the Northern Lites commenced t' glow WATCH OUT WHERE THE HUSKIES GO AN' DON'T YOU EAT THAT YELLOW SNOW WATCH OUT WHERE THE HUSKIES GO AN' DON'T YOU EAT THAT YELLOW SNOW Well right about that time, people A fur trapper Who was strictly from commercial (Strictly Commershil) Had the unmedicated audacity to jump up from behind my igyaloo (Peek-a-Boo) And he started in to whippin' on my fav'rite baby seal With a lead-filled snow shoe . (Tell me the truth) I said with a lead LEAD Filled LEAD-FILLED With a lead-filled snow shoe SNOW SHOE He said Peak-a-boo PEEK-A-BOO With a lead LEAD Filled LEAD-FILLED With a lead-filled snow shoe SNOW SHOE He said Peak-a-boo PEEK-A-BOO He went right up side the head of my favorite baby seal He hit him on the nose He hit him on the fin He hit him on the coccyx He hit him on the uh, Thermidor He had him right near Managua several times (About the thorax) You know what he did to that seal? He really fucked up my favorite baby seal Like this . Now folks, that got me just about as evil As an Eskimo boy can be . And it would you too So guess what I did (What'd you do then?) Hey, you'll never guess . I bent down 'n I reached down 'n I scooped down An' I gathered up a generous mitten full of the deadly . YELLOW SNOW The deadly Yellow Snow from right there where the huskies go An' then I proceeded to rub it all into his beady little eyes With a vigorous circular motion Hitherto unknown to the citizens of Chicago But destined to take the place of THE MUD SHARK In your mythology THE VIGOROUS CIRCULAR MOTION . Here it goes, RUB IT! (HEY . . . HEY . . . HEY . . . ) Alright, now, listen. Some of you people were here for the last show, right? Okay, well you know what's gonna happen now, don't you? This is audience participation time again, ladies and gentlemen. Now, a lot of the big groups they have really neat things for the audience to do—really sophisticated technological things like, "Hey, everybody, get your hands together and let's boogie!" But, you know, since we're not English or anything, we don't do that, we have things that are really stupid for the audience to do, because the way I've got it figured out—the dumber it is, the more fun it is, so let's get on with it. Here's what you do, everybody stand up. Alright, stand up . . . Alright, what're you guys, paraplegics? Stand up! Alright. Okay, here's what you're gonna do—you're gonna help me demise the fur trapper. This is just— This is just for practice, now watch. Here's what you do And then you pounced You pounced again Jumped up 'n down the chest of the . GREAT GOOGLY-MOOGLY You injured the fur trapper Now, is that sophisticated or what? You know? Let's— Hey. Let's face it, this—what I'm asking you to do—is really stupid. It's really stupid. However this would do less harm to you than voting, so let's get on with it. One more time Now you pounced And you pounced again You jumped up 'n down the chest of the . Some of you aren't getting the fast part, I think that you're probably a little bit too ripped for the fast part. We're gonna have to do some more work on the fast part. Now, this is really good for you—it's stupid, but it's good for you. Just the fast part, okay? We go . You jumped up 'n down the chest of the . You jumped up 'n down the chest of the . Jumped up 'n down the chest of the . Jumped up 'n down the chest of the . Some of you are just standing there twitching. A lot of you girls that don't have brassieres on it are trying to stand still so they don't flop up 'n down and hit ya. (Come on!) It won't do. Let it all hang out, guys and girls. Let it flop around. This is the big one. One more time. If you flunk this one, God knows what's gonna happen tonight. All together, I wanna see everybody's buttocks pumping up 'n down this night. Just think of me as an older, more sinister, Jack LaLanne. Ready? And then I pounced And I pounced again And jumped up 'n down the chest of the . GREAT GOOGLY-MOOGLY You and me have injured the fur trapper Sit down! Alright. It's almost like going to camp Well, it was at that time that the fur trapper realized that something was wrong He looked around And he looked around And he looked around And he kept looking around And you know what? (What?) He said I CAN'T SEE (NO NO NO NO NO . . . YEAH!) I CAN'T SEE (NO NO NO NO NO . . . YEAH!) I CAN'T SEE (NO NO NO NO NO . . . YEAH!) I CAN'T SEE (NO NO NO NO NO . . . YEAH!) He took a dog-doo sno-cone An' stuffed it in my right eye He took a dog-doo sno-cone An' stuffed it in my other eye An' the huskie wee-wee I mean the doggie wee-wee Has blinded me Oh, an' I can't see Well, as you know, it was at this precise moment in time and space That the evil fur trapper remembered the ancient Eskimo legend Wherein it is written (Hey, don't rush me!) Wherein it is written On whatever it is that they write it on up there That if anything bad ever happens to your eyes As a result of some sort of conflict With anyone named Nanook Hey, the only way that you can get it fixed up Is to go trudgin' across the tundra . Mile after mile Trudgin' across the tundra . Right down to the parish of Saint Alfonzo . You play this lick, you don't just toss it off, you don't just crank it off, you don't just hurl it out into space. You have to study for oh, moments. Several moments in order to learn this lick. Ed has worked on this lick over and over again. Tonight maybe the— (The rats?) Huh? Oh, oh, yes. And Ed found a rat up in the dressing room. Those of you that were here the last show, we gave you the report that Ed was lonely and was trying to find a rat to fuck in the dressing room. He found one, it was really good. Worked it over. He ate it and that's why he has the strength to play this part of the show. Are you ready? Take it away, Ed! That's right, here we are! At Saint Alfonzo's Pancake Breakfast Where I stole the mar-juh-rene An' widdled on the Bingo Cards in lieu of the latrine I saw a handsome parish lady Make her entrance like a queen Why she was totally chenille And her old man was a Marine As she abused a sausage pattie (Peetie-peetie pattie peetie-peetie pattie pootie) And said why don't you treat me mean? (Hurt me, hurt me, hurt me, oooooh!) (Pittie! Pattie! Pootie! Bootie-pootie!) At Saint Alfonzo's Pancake Breakfast (Hah! Good God! Get off the bus!) Where I stole the mar-juh-rene . Saint Alfonzo's Saint Alfonzo's Saint Alfonzo's Saint Alfonzo's Ooo-ooo-WAH . Get on your feet an' do the funky Alfonzo! Father Vivian O'Blivion Resplendent in his frock Was whipping up the batter For the pancakes of his flock He was looking rather bleary (He forgot to watch the clock) 'Cause the night before Behind the door A leprechaun had stroked (he stroked it) . The night before Behind the door A leprechaun had stroked (he stroked it) . The night before Behind the door A leprechaun had stroked . . . his . Sma-ah-ah Ah-ah-ah Ah-ah-ah Ah-ah-ah Ah-ah-ah Ah-ah-ah Ahhh (stroked his smock) Set him off in such a frenzy He sang LOCK AROUND THE CROCK An' he topped it off with a . An' he topped it off with a . An' he topped it off with a . WOO WOO WOO WOO WOO WOO WOO WOO WOO As he stumbled on his COCK He was delighted as it stiffened And ripped right through his sock Oh, Saint Alfonzo would be proud of me PROUD OF ME PROUD OF ME He shouted down the block (Oh no) Dominus Vo-bisque 'em Et come spear a tu-tu Oh! Won't you eat my sleazy pancakes Just for Saintly Alfonzo They're so light 'n fluffy-white We'll raise a fortune by tonite They're so light 'n fluffy-white We'll raise a fortune by tonite They're so light 'n fluffy-brown They're the finest in the town They're so light 'n fluffy-brown They're the finest in the town Good morning, your Highness Ooo-ooo-ooo I brought you your snow shoes Ooo-ooo-ooo Good morning, your Highness Ooo-ooo-ooo I brought you your snow shoes Ooo-ooo-ooo Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-nanook Na-na-na-na-na-nanook-oh Nanook Rubs it Saint Al Al Fo-fo-fo Fo-fo-fo-fo-fo-fonzo Saint Alfonzo really loves it when he rubs it for him I have seen him rubbin' it I have seen him rubbin' it I have, I have a-seen him stroke his weenie (It was teenie) Rub it, rub it, rub it, rub it, rub Nanook rubs it, Alfie loves it Nanook rubs it, Alfie loves it Nanook rubs it, Alfie loves it Nanook is rubbin' it, and Alfie is lovin' it Saint Alfonzo, can you hear us praying to you? Can you fix my Chevy? Boy, you're really heavy Here's the church and here's the steeple Open up and see the people Some are kneelin', some are standin' All the money they are handing To some asshole with a basket Where it goes we dare not ask it Nanook rubs it, Alfie loves it This here basket, really shoves it Here's your quarter, here's your dollar Let's play ring around the collar Hup! Hey, get it now! (We get it now! We take now your little gifts) THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU, FRIENDS! Vince Colaiuta on drums, Arthur Barrow on bass, Tommy Mars on keyboards, Ike Willis on guitar and vocals, Denny Walley on guitar and vocals, Peter Wolf on keyboards, Ed Mann on percussion, Saint Alfonzo rubs it, and uh (of course) thanks for coming to the show (Alfie rubs it), good night (Oh no!)