Frank Zappa — The Illinois Enema Bandit Joes Camouflage

The Illinois Enema Bandit I heard he's on the loose I heard he's on the loose Lord, the pitiful screams (Hi . . . ) Of them college-educated women . . (Hi hi hi . . . ) Boy, he'd just be tyin' 'em up (They'd be all bound down!) Just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag fulla (Ay!) Illinois Enema Bandit Juice The Illinois Enema Bandit I heard it on the news I heard it on the news Bloomington Illinois . . . he has caused such an alarm Just creepin' around there, around there From farm to farm With a rubberized bag And a hose on his arm Lookin' for some rustic co-ed rump That he just might wanna pump Searchin' for some rustic co-ed rump That he just might wanna pump Searchin' for some rustic co-ed rump That he just might wanna pump Searchin' for some rustic co-ed rump That he just might wanna pump The Illinois Enema Bandit Some day he'll have to pay Some day he'll have to pay Judge say "You's under arrest!" (Police will say that) The judge will have him for a special guest The D.A. will order a secret test ("Let's see what's in this water") Pokes thumbs (pooh!) in the side of his vest, yeah-hey They'll put out a call for the jury folks Judge will stand up and say, "No poo-poo jokes!" They'll drag in the bandit for all to see Sayin' "Don't nobody have sympathy" Sayin' "HOT SOAPY WATER in the FIRST DEGREE!" Bandit say, bandit say "Why you all lookin' at me?" Well well well well well well well DID YOU CAUSE . . FZ: You should do that like Helen Reddy The bandit say "Why you all lookin' at me?" Well well well well well DID YOU CAUSE THIS MISERY? (Er-ey-ee . . . ) You know one girl shout, hey! "Let that man be!" But I say ARE YOU GUILTY? HELEN, WHAT'S YOUR PLEA? Another girl shout: "Let the fiend go free!" Oh, judge have to say DID YOU DO THESE DEEDS? "It must be just what they all need . . . " Bandit say "It must be just what they all need . . . " Bandit says, yeah "It must be just what they all need . . . " The bandit says "It must be just what they all need . . . " The Illinois . . FZ: You have to bring up your part Roy: Huh? FZ: Bring your part up Roy: Okay FZ: It's not— The thing about your part, it's not really part of the harmony, but it makes it, you know? Roy: I know FZ: So . . Roy: I know it "Must be just what they all need . . . " FZ: Leave your part out for a minute, Roy Roy: Okay "Must be just what they all need . . . " (Yeah . . .) "It must be just what they all need . . . " B-brrr . . "Just me just what they all need . . . " Bandit say "It must be just what they all need . . . " Convicted, he said "It must be just what they all need . . . " They took him off to jail, yeah "It must be just what they all need . . . " But he continued to say "It must be just what they all need . . . " Lord, give me the straitjacket ("You know, boy, they're gonna give you the chair for this") He-heh says . . "It must be just what they all need . . . " (Novi: Hope it has an enema in it) He said, "I don't care, I don't care 'Cause it must . . . " ("Give me the chair!") Froggie: Is that chair shaped like a toilet bowl? FZ: We're gonna give you a chair with a rubber duck in the front! ?: Hah hah hah!