Frank Zappa — The Illinois Enema Bandit YCDTOSA 6

Crazed Fan: Yeah! Zappa, Zappa! FZ: What? I'm supposed to kiss her? Okay. Just calm down there for a minute. It’s only Halloween . Crazed Fan: Zappa! Yeah! FZ: Alright Crazed Fan: Play the guitar! Play the guitar! FZ: No, thank you. Alright, let's get back to entertainment here. Are we tuned up? Crazed Fan: Yeah! We never left! We never left! FZ: 2 . . . 3 . . . 4 . The Illinois Enema Bandit I heard he's on the loose I heard he’s on the loose Lord, the pitiful screams Of all them college-educated women . He'd just be tyin' 'em up (They'd be all bound down!) He just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag fulla The Illinois Enema Bandit Juice He just be pumpin' every one of ’em up with all the bag fulla The Illinois Enema Bandit Juice He just be pumpin’ every one of 'em up with all the bag fulla The Illinois Enema Bandit Juice He just be pumpin’ every one of 'em up with all the bag fulla The Illinois Enema Bandit Juice The Illinois Enema Bandit I heard it on the news I heard it on the news Bloomington Illinois . . . he has caused some alarm Just sneakin' around there From farm to farm He's got a rubberized bag And a hose on his arm Just lookin’ for some rustic co-ed rump That he just might wanna pump Lookin' for some rustic co-ed rump That he just might wanna pump Lookin' for some rustic co-ed rump That he just might wanna pump The Illinois Enema Bandit One day he'll have to pay One day he'll have to pay The police will say, "You're under arrest!" And then the judge would have him for a special guest The D.A. will order a secret test Stuff his pudgy little thumbs in the side of his vest Then they'll put out a call (Hi-Yo!) for the jury folks And the judge would say, "No Silver jokes!" They'll drag in the bandit for all to see Sayin' "Don't nobody put that little black mask all over me . . . (Hi-Yo!) HOT SOAPY WATER in the FIRST DEGREE!" And then Tonto might say, "Don't put that Veg-O-Matic at me!" DID YOU CAUSE THIS BROCCOLI? WELL DID YOU CAUSE THIS BROCCOLI? WELL DID YOU CAUSE THIS KINDA BROCCOLI? One girl shout: "Well, bring that small appliance right here near to me!" BANDIT ARE YOU GUILTY? TELL ME, WHAT'S YOUR PLEA? Another satisfied home maker shout: "Well, let that Veg-O-Matic be!" BANDIT, ARE YOU GUILTY? TELL ME, DID YOU DO THESE DEEDS? You know what he said? (Isn't that amazing!) "It must be just what they all need . . . " (yeah!) "It must be just what they all need . . . " "It must be just what they all needs. . . " "It must be just what they all need . . . " He just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag fulla "It must be just what they all need . . . " Well, he just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag fulla "It must be just what they all need . . . " He just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag fulla "It must be just what they all need . . . " The Illinois Enema Bandit Juice He just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag fulla "It must be just what they all need . . . " The Illinois Enema Bandit Juice The Illinois . Illinois . Ain't talkin' 'bout Fontana . Ain't talkin' 'bout Potato Headed Bobby Talkin' 'bout the Illinois . Illinois . . . Enema Bandit . . . Juice FZ: I'd like to introduce you to a friend of mine. This is L. Shankar on violin