Frank Zappa — Titties N Beer different edit

It was the blackest night There was no moon in sight You know the stars ain't shinin' 'Cause the sky's too tight I heard the scarey wind I seen some ugly trees There was a werewolf honkin' 'Long the side of me I'm mean 'n I'm bad, y'know I ain't no sissy Got a big-titty girly by the name of Chrissy Talkin' about her 'n my bike 'n me . . 'N this ride up the Mountain of Mystery, mystery I noticed even the crickets Were actin' weird up here 'N so I figured I might Just drink a little beer I said, "Gimme summa that what yer suckin' on . . . " But there was no reply 'Cause she was gone . . "Where's those titties I like so well, 'n my goddamn beer!" Is what I started to yell, then I heard this noise Like a crunchin' twig, 'n up jumped the Devil . . He's about this big . . He had a red suit on An' a widow's peak An' then a pointed tail 'N like a sulphur reek Yes, it was him awright I sweared I knowed it was He had some human flesh Stuck underneath his claws You know, it looked to me Like it was titty skin I said, "You sonofabitch!" 'Cause I was mad at him Well he just got out his floss 'N started cleanin' his fang So I shot him with my shooter Said: BANG BANG BANG Then the sucker just laughed 'n said: Terry: Oh, put it away . . You know, I ate her all up . . . now what you gonna say? FZ: You ate my Chrissy? Terry: Titties 'n all! FZ: Well, what about the beer then, boy? Terry: Ah . . . Were the cans this tall? FZ: Even her boots? Terry: Would I lie to you? FZ: Shit, you musta been hungry! Terry: Yes, this is true FZ: Don't they pay you good For the stuff that you do? Terry: Well, you know I can't complain when the checks come through . . FZ: Well I want my Chrissy 'N I want my beer So you just barf it back up Now, Devil, do you hear? Terry: Blow it out your ass, motorcycle man! I mean, I am the Devil Do you understand? Just what will you give me for your Titties and beer? I suppose you noticed this little contract here . . FZ: Yer goddam right, you Son-of-a-whore Terry: Don't call me that! FZ: That's about the only reason I learned writin' for . . Gimme that paper . . . bet yer ass I will sign . . Because I need a beer 'N it's titty-squeezin' time! Terry: Man, you can't fool me . . . you ain't that bad . . I mean you shoulda seen some of the souls that I've had . . FZ: Oh, yeah? Terry: Why there was Milhous Nixon 'n Agnew, too . . 'N both of those suckers was worse 'n you . . FZ: Well, let's make a deal if you think that's true I mean, you're the Devil so . . Whatcha gonna do? Terry: Wait a minute, a tinge of doubt crosses my mind when you say that you want to make a deal with me FZ: That's very, very true Terry: Wait, you ain't supposed to wanna make a deal with me FZ: Ah, but I'm slightly different than your average customer, Devil Terry: But, wait, but most people don't want to make a deal with me. Wha . . FZ: I'm only interested in two things, that's titties and beer, you know what I mean? Terry: What? FZ: Yeah Terry: Titties and beer? FZ: Titties and beer, titties and beer, titties and beer, titties and beer, titties and beer, titties and beer, titties and beer, titties and beer . . Terry: (Growling) Whoa, I don't know if you're the right guy! FZ: . . . titties and beer, titties and beer, titties and beer . . Terry: No! Don't sign it! Give me time to think . . I mean . . FZ: Alright! Terry: Hold on a second, boy . . 'Cause that's Magic Ink! And then the Devil let go of his pickle 'N out jumped m'girl They heard the titties PLOP-PLOPPIN' All around the world, she said: "I GOT ME THREE BEERS 'N A FIST FULLA DOWNS AN' I'M GONNA GET RIPPED, SO FUCK YOU CLOWNS!" Then she gave us the finger It was rigid 'n stiff That's when the Devil, he farted An' she went right over the cliff (Whoa . . . Tinsel Time!) Well, the Devil was mad I took off to my pad I swear I do declare! How did she get back there? I swear I do declare! How did she get back there? I swear I do declare! How did she get back there? I swear I do declare! How did she get back there?