Funkmaster Flex & Big Kap — If I Get Locked Up

[Intro: Dr. Dre] Check check, one two, one two, one two (Yo, it’s rollin'?) Yeah yeah yeah, Dr. Dre up in here, y'all know what this is It’s what you've been waitin' for, Funkmaster Flex Big Kap, Def Jam records givin' it to you, baby Yo, Eminem, show these motherfuckers what time it is, baby [Verse 1: Eminem & Dr. Dre] I used to be a lonely man, only mad 'Til I got a million dollars, shit, now if I only had Some fuckin' hair I'd pull it faster than a bullet Out of 2Pac's chest before the ambulance came too late to do it I'm tryin' to grow it back again, it was an accident I had my back against the fan and chopped it off in Amsterdam I hate this straightjacket, it ain't latchin', they can't lock it So they stapled my hands to my pants pockets The cell's padded and battered like someone else had it Before me and just kept throwin' their fuckin' self at it My head is achin', I'm dedicated to medication But this med is takin' too long to bring me this se-da-dation (Come on!) Anyway, I got down with Dre (What up?) The first man who taught me how a Glock sounded to spray Runnin' up and down the street, screamin', "Fuck the police!" When you still had your mother's fuckin' nipple stuck in your teeth (You fuckin' baby) Became a role model after Colorado Now all they do is follow me around and holler, "Bravo!" Hell yeah, I punch my bitch And beat my kids in public – suck my dick, bitch! I'm sick enough to fuck a man in his face But I won't, 'cause you probably wanna stand in his place So put a sock in it, wit' your fake-ass 2Pac image You faggots ain't tough, you just get drunk and become talkative (Wanna pf-fight?) I'm probably the awkwardest alcoholic talkin' Walkin' like a midget with a ladder in his back pocket So when you see me on your block stumblin' Mumblin' a bunch of dumb shit like my drunk uncle does I ain't buzzed, I'm just high on life So why on Earth would I need drugs when I fly on kites? Motherfucker! Slim Shady (Dr. Dre) I'm drunk, pass the TEC [Chorus: Eminem & Dr. Dre] 'Cause if I get locked up tonight Then I might not come home tonight Keep it movin', off and on, Eminem is on (Hey) Off and on, Dr. Dre is on 'Cause if I get locked up tonight Then I might not come home tonight Keep it movin', off and on, Eminem is on (Hey) Off and on, Dr. Dre is on [Verse 2: Eminem] The whole entire world can sit and twirl like a whirling tire I set a fuckin' girl on fire with a curling iron Psych! I'm just jokin', for Christ's sakes Don't get so bent out of shape 'cause I went out and raped six girlfriends Some people just don't get it But I won't let it upset me, 'cause they don't know better They don't know what the fuck it's like to be so fed up And fed so many uppers you're down and won't get up My mind's got a mind of its own Sometimes I can't find it at home, it hides in the stove (Hello, where you at?) Shit, talk about your brain bein' baked My shit's still in the oven on 480 degrés Hailie Jade, Daddy loves you, baby Don't ever tell me how to raise my daughter – fuck you, lady! You critics wanna criticize but couldn't visualize Individuals lives through a criminal's eyes (Fuck y'all) The neighborhood that I grew up in, you could die for nothin' And Dirty Dozen watches over me so try some dumb shit I'll have a fuckin' man raped with a Band-Aid Over his mouth and shove his head in a fan blade Don't ever tell me what I can or what I can't say Or change 'cause of the age range in my fan base Like I give a fuck who's buyin' this shit Quit fuckin' buyin' it, I'm tired, bitch, I'm dyin' to quit Hip-hop is universal now, it's so commercial now It's like a circle full of circus clowns up in the circuit now But now the white kids like it, so they tell me I can buy it But as soon as I get on the mic it's like the night gets silent Either that or booed, that's why I keep an attitude And go to sleep with it and wake up with it every afternoon I'm sick of bein' judged, fuck it, let me see a judge I'll confess to every murder I committed since three years old [Chorus: Eminem & Dr. Dre] 'Cause if I get locked up tonight Then I might not come home tonight Keep it movin', off and on, Eminem is on (Hey) Off and on, Dr. Dre is on (Ayo) [Outro: Dr. Dre] Fuck that, turn that shit off Let's get the fuck up outta here You know how we do