George Gershwin — Could You Use Me?

(Verse 1) [DANNY] Have some pity on an Easterner Show a little sympathy No one could possibly be sterner Than you have been with me There's a job that I'm applying for Let me put it to you thus: It's a partnership I'm dying for Mr. and Mrs. Us Before you file it on the shelf Let me tell you of myself (Chorus) Oh, I'm the chappie To make you happy I'll tie your shoeses And chase your blueses Oh lady, would you Oh tell me, could you use me? I'd shake the mat out And put the cat out I'd clean the garret And feed the parrot Oh lady, would you Oh tell me, could you use me? Do you realize what a good man You're getting in me? I'm no Elk or Mason or Woodman Who gets home at three The girls who see me Grow soft and dreamy But I'm a gander Who won't philander Oh could you use me? 'Cause I certainly could use you (Verse 2) [MOLLY] There's a chap I know in Mexico Who's as strong as he can be Eating nails and drinking Texaco He is the type for me There is one in California More romantic far than you When he sings "ha cha cha chornia" I often think he'll do But as for you, sir, I'm afraid You will never make the grade (Chorus 2) For you're no cowboy You're soft, and how, boy I feel no muscle That's fit for tussle I must refuse you I cannot use you No night life for you The birds would bore you The cows won't know you A horse would throw you You silly man, you To ask me "Can you use me?" Though at love you may be a wizard I'm wanting to know Could you warm me up in a blizzard Say, forty below Your ties are freakish Your knees look weakish Go back to flappers And highball lappers Though you can use me I most certainly can't use you (dance break) (Chorus 3) [DANNY] I'd love to rough it [MOLLY] You'd only muff it You'd better track home You're safer back home [DANNY] Oh lady would you Oh tell me, could you use me? If we've no butler I'll put the cutler Up on the table As well's I'm able I'd slave as few would If only you could use me [MOLLY] You don't even know how to lasso A bull or a steer [DANNY] When I speak to them in my basso They'll worry, don't fear I'll be no bother I'll make a father Like no other If you're the mother Oh could you use me? 'Cause I certainly could use you