Gilbert and Sullivan — When I went to the Bar as a very young man

When I went to the Bar as a very young man (Said I to myself — said I) I'll work on a new and original plan (Said I to myself — said I) I'll never assume that a rogue or a thief Is a gentleman worthy implicity belief Because his attorney has sent me a brief (Said I to myself — said I) Ere I go into court I will read my brief through (Said I to myself — said I) And I'll never take work I'm unable to do (Said I to myself — said I) My learned profession I'll never disgrace By taking a fee with a grin on my face When I haven't been there to attend to the case (Said I to myself — said I) I'll never throw dust in a juryman's eyes (Said I to myself — said I) Or hoodwink a judge who is not over-wise (Said I to myself — said I) Or assume that the witnesses summoned in force In Exchequer, Queen's Bench, Common Pleas, or Divorce Have perjured themselves as a matter of course (Said I to myself — said I) In other professions in which men engage (Said I to myself — said I) The Army, the Navy, the Church, and the Stage (Said I to myself — said I) Professional license, if carried too far Your chance of promotion will certainly mar And i fancy the rule might apply to the Bar (Said I to myself — said I)