Jerry Reed — She Got The Goldmine I Got The Shaft 1987

[Intro: Jerry Reed] Boys This is your national anthem, okay [Verse 1: Jerry Reed] I guess it was back in '63 When eatin' my cookin' got the better of me And I asked this little girl I was goin' with to be my wife She said she would so I said "I do" But I'da said "I wouldn't" if I'da just knew How sayin' "I do" was gonna screw up all of my life Now the first few years weren't all that bad I'll never forget the good times we had Cause I'm reminded every month when I send her the child support And it wasn't too long 'til the lust all died And I'll admit I wasn't too surprised The day I come home and found my suitcase sittin' out on the porch Well I tried to get in and she changed the lock And I seen this note on the mailbox that said "So long turkey. My attorney will be in touch" Well, I decided right then and there I was gonna be a nice guy and give her her fair share Just didn't know her share was gonna be quite that much [Chorus: Jerry Reed] Well she got the goldmine (She got the goldmine) I got the shaft (I got the shaft) They said they're splittin' it all down the middle But she got the better half That all sounds sorta funny But it hurts too much to laugh She got the goldmine, I got the shaft [Verse 2L Jerry Reed] Now listen boys, you ain't heard nothin' yet They give her the color television set Then they give her the house, and the kids and both of the cars Next, they start talkin' about child support and alimony And the cost of the court It didn't take me long to see how far in the toilet I really was And I'm tellin' you that they have made a mistake Because it adds up to more than I make And everything I got worth havin' they've already took While she's livin' like a queen on alimony I'm workin' two jobs eatin' baloney Askin' myself, "Why didn't you just learn how to cook?" [Chorus: Jerry Reed] Well she got the goldmine (She got the goldmine) And I got the shaft (I got the shaft) They said they were splittin' it all down the middle But she got the better half That all sounds mighty funny But it hurts too much to laugh She got the goldmine and I got the shaft [Interlude: Jerry Reed and Dolly Parton] Wait a minute Timeout, timeout Nah wait a minute Listen I want you to know that that's your side What are you doing here? We girls know that there's another side to this story Right? I'm gonna tell my tale [Verse 3: Dolly Parton] Okay, so I got the house where the floorboards creak And a porch that sags and the beams are weak And a roof that leaks like a faucet when it rains Yeah and that color TV gets nothin' but snow And the cars won't move without a tow And I shoulda had him towed away if I had any brains He's got no compassion, not even an ounce Oh he might send a check, but I watch it bounce And I know my alimony is lookin' mighty grim Still I can take all that without any fear If I didn't have to see his face around here But them kids he left me Lord they're the spittin' image of him [Chorus: Dolly Parton & Jerry Reed] You call that a goldmine? (You got the goldmine) I call that a shaft (I get the shaft) Now I shoulda split him right down the middle What? His so called better half Yeah it might be kinda funny but it hurts to much to laugh You call that a goldmine, I call it the shaft [Bridge: Jerry Reed] Now you've heard her side and you've heard mine Now evidentially somebodies lyin' Now I ask you Ain't this an honest face? [Chorus: Jerry Reed, Dolly Parton & Both] Well, she got the goldmine, (She got the goldmine) And I got the shaft (I got the shaft) They said they were splittin' it all down the middle Yeah but you got the better half It all sounds mighty funny Yeah but it hurts too much to laugh You got the goldmine and I got the shaft I said you got the goldmine and I got the shaft [Outro: Dolly Parton] What goldmine?