John Kander — It Couldnt Please Me More A Pineapple

[FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER] If you bought me diamonds If you bought me pearls If you bought me roses Like some other gents Might bring to other girls It couldn't please me more Than the gift I see A pineapple for me [SCHULTZ] If in your emotion You begin to sway Went to get some air Or grabbed a chair To keep from fainting dead away It couldn't please me more Than to see you cling To the pineapple I bring [BOTH] Ah [FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER] I can hear Hawaiian breezes blow [BOTH] Ah [SCHULTZ] It's from California [FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER] Even so How am I to thank you? [SCHULTZ] Kindly let it pass [FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER] Would you like a slice? [SCHULTZ] That might be nice But frankly, it would give me gas [FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER] Then we shall leave it here Not to eat, but see [BOTH] A pineapple [FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER] For me [SCHULTZ] From me [BOTH] Ah [Dance Break] [FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER, spoken] But you must not bring me any more pineapples Do you hear? It is not proper It is a gift a young man would bring to his lady-love It makes me blush [SCHULTZ, spoken] But there is no-one... no-one in all of Berlin who is more deserving If I could, I would fill your entire room with pineapples! A pineapples For you [FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER] From you [BOTH, with Emcee] Ah... Ah... [FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER, spoken] I think I will lie down for a few moments My head is spinning! [SCHULTZ, spoken] Fraulein Schneider... good evening [FRAULEIN SCHNEIDER, spoken] Good evening, Herr Schultz (Opens her bedroom door, turns to Schultz) I am... overwhelmed! (She goes in and closes the door)