Kris Kristofferson — Eddie The Eunuch

Eddie the eunuch was a weasel Nasty as an old man's nose Making believin' he was evil Struttin' in his mama's clothes You know that Eddie had a bad connection Never had a chance to ball Sleeping in the wrong direction, baby Dreaming he was ten feet tall But now Eddie the eunuch is a rock and roll critic Sucking like a super star Slicker than a shoe-shine Quicker than a two-time Eddie what a thang you are Eddie makes a damn good livin', baby Putting other people down Eddie couldn't ever forgive them baby 'cause he wasn't Jackson Browne