Leonard Bernstein — The Best of All Possible Worlds

[DR. PANGLOSS] Let us review Lesson eleven! [STUDENTS] Paragraph two Axiom seven [PANGLOSS] Once one dismisses The rest of all possible worlds One finds that this is The best of all possible worlds! [STUDENTS] Once one dismisses The rest of all possible worlds One finds that this is The best of all possible worlds! [PANGLOSS] Pray classify Pigeons and camels [MAXIMILLIAN] Pigeons can fly! [PAQUETTE] Camels are mammals! [PANGLOSS] There is a reason For everything under the sun! [CANDIDE] There is a season For everything under the sun! [MAXIMILLIAN] Objection! What about snakes? [PANGLOSS] Snakes! 'Twas snake that tempted mother Eve Because of snake we now believe That though depraved We can be saved From hellfire and damnation [STUDENTS] Because of snake's temptation! [PANGLOSS] If snake had not seduced our lot And primed us for salvation Jehovah could not pardon all The sins that we call cardinal Involving bed and bottle! [ALL] Now onto Aristotle! [PANGLOSS] Mankind is one All men are brothers! [STUDENTS] As you'd have done Do unto others! [PANGLOSS] It's understood in This best of all possible worlds-- [MAXIMILLIAN] All's for the good in This best of all possible worlds! [CANDIDE] Objection! What about war? [PANGLOSS] War! Though war may seem a bloody curse It is a blessing in reverse When cannon roar Both rich and poor By danger are united! [STUDENTS] Till every wrong is righted! [PANGLOSS] Philosophers make evident The point that I have cited 'Tis war makes equal -- as it were -- The noble and the commoner Thus war improves relations! [ALL] Now onto conjugations! [PANGLOSS] Amo, amas Amat, amamus! [STUDENTS] Amo, amas Amat, amamus! [PANGLOSS] Proving that this is The best of all possible worlds With love and kisses The best of all possible worlds! [STUDENTS] Proving that this is The best of all possible worlds With love and kisses The best of all possible worlds! [PANGLOSS] Quod erat demonstrandum! QED! Amo, amas Amat, amamus! [MAXIMILLIAN] (overlapping) Quod erat demunstrandum! QED! Amo, amas! Quod erat demonstrandum! [PAQUETTE] (overlapping) Quod erat demunstrandum! QED! Amo, amas! [CANDIDE] (overlapping) Quod erat demonstrandum! QED! [CUNEGONDE] (overlapping) Quod erat demunstrandum! [ALL] Quod erat demonstrandum In this best of all Possible, possible, possible worlds! Quod erat demonstrandum! Q! E! D!