Logic — White People Scene

[Skit: Kevin Randolph & Steven Blum] [KAI:] Yeah, then the bitch said, “Use a condom.” And I said, “Baby, there’s like 10 people left in existence, fuck does it matter?” [THOMAS:] You didn’t say that... [KAI:] Man, yes I did! [THOMAS:] No, you didn’t... [KAI:] I’m a grown ass man, what? I’ma lie to you? I’ma lie? Alright, maybe I just thought it—but damn, she was just so butt naked! I’d wrap her up with a trash bag just to get in it, you know what I’m saying? [THALIA:] Guys, we seem to be approaching another ship... [THOMAS:] What? [KAI:] Impossible! [THOMAS:] How far? [THALIA:] 32 kilometers... [THOMAS:] Shit... HQ this is pilot Quentin Thomas, accompanied by my first man in charge of infantry William Kai of the Aquarius 3, come in, over... [HEADQUARTERS:] HQ here. What is it, Thomas? [THOMAS:] My program has just informed me and my partner of another ship that’s now 31 kilometers out... [HEADQUARTERS:] Did you just say another ship? [KAI:] Yeah, that's what he said! Another fuckin' ship in the middle of space, man!! [THALIA:] I’ve gathered information from the ship’s motherboard... [HEADQUARTERS:] Engage the ship! [KAI:] What?! [THOMAS:] Copy! [THALIA:] I’m receiving audio embedded in the ship’s distress signal... [KAI:] Man— Why white people always gotta go investigating shit, man?! [THOMAS:] Shut up Kai—Thalia, playback message! [THALIA:] You got it... [SMITH:] This is Captain Christopher Smith of the Aquarius 1—the year is 2093—time unknown. The entire crew is dead, and I fear these are my last hours. Whatever you do, do not come knocking— [KAI:] Aw, hell nah—we gotta get the fuck outta here man!! [THOMAS:] HQ, engagement is a no go! Permission of the Aquarius 3 to push through to Paradise? [HEADQUARTERS:] Permission granted! [KAI:] Man, thank God!