Marvin Hamlisch — Dance: Ten Looks: Three

[VAL] (spoken) But after a while I caught on. I mean, I saw what they were hiring. I also swiped my dance card once after an audition, and on a scale of ten, they gave me for dance, ten, for looks, three. Well! Dance, ten Looks, three And I'm still on unemployment Dancing for my own enjoyment That ain't it, kid That ain't it, kid "Dance, ten Looks, three," It's like to die! Left the theater and Called the doctor for My appointment to buy Tits and ass Bought myself a fancy pair Tightened up the derriere Did the nose with it All that goes with it Tits and ass! Had the bingo-bongos done Suddenly I'm getting national tours! Tits and ass won't get you jobs Unless they're yours Didn't cost a fortune neither Didn't hurt my sex life either Flat and sassy I would get the strays and losers Beggars really can't be choosers That ain't it, kid That ain't it, kid Fised the chassis "How do you do!" Life turned into an Endless medley of "Gee, it had to be you!" Why? Tits and ass! Where the cupboard once was bare Now you knock and someone's there You have got 'em, hey Top to bottom, hey It's a gas! Just a dash of silicone Shake your new maracas and you're fine! Tits and ass can change your life They sure changed mine Have it all done Honey, take my word Grab a cab, c'mon See the wizard on Park and Seventy-Third For Tits and ass Orchestra and balcony What they want is whatcha see Keep the best of you Do the rest of you Pits or class I have never seen it fail Debutante or chorus girl or wife Tits and ass Yes, tits and ass Have changed my life!