Monty Python — Medical Love Song Extended

Inflammation of the foreskin Reminds me of your smile I've had ballanital chancroids For quite a little while I gave my heart to NSU That lovely night in June I ache for you, my darling And I hope you get well soon My penile warts, your herpes My syphilitic sores Your moenelial infection How I miss you more and more Your dhobi's itch, my scrumpox Our lovely gonorrhea At least we both were lying When we said that we were clear Our syphilitic kisses Sealed the secret of our tryst You gave me scrotal pustules With a quick flick of your wrist Your trichovaginitis Sent shivers down my spine; I got snail tracks in my anus When your spirochetes met mine [Chorus] Gonococcal urethritis Streptococcal ballinitis Meningomyelitis Diplococcal cephalitis Epidydimitis Interstitial keratitis Syphilitic choroiditis And antertior uveitis My clapped out genitalia Is not so bad for me As the complete and utter failure Every time I try to pee My doctor says my buboes Are the worst he's ever seen My scrotum's painted orange And my balls are turning green My heart is very tender Though my parts are awful raw You might have been infected But you never were a bore I'm dying of your love, my love I'm your spirochaetal clown I've left my body to science But I'm afraid they've turned it down [Chorus]