Original London Cast of Cats — Mr. Mistoffelees

[RUM TUM TUGGER, spoken] You ought to ask Mr. Mistoffelees, the original Conjuring Cat (sung) The greatest magicians have something to learn From Mr. Mistoffelees' Conjuring Turn! [MISTOFFELEES, spoken] Presto! [COMPANY] And we all say Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees? Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees? [RUM TUM TUGGER] He is quiet and small, he is black From his ears to the tip of his tail He can creep through the tiniest crack He can walk on the narrowest rail He can pick any card from a pack He is equally cunning with dice He is always deceiving you into believing That he's only hunting for mice He can play any trick with a cork Or a spoon and a bit of fish paste If you look for a knife or a fork And you think it is merely misplaced You have seen it one moment and then it is gone You'll find it next week lying out on the lawn! [COMPANY] And we all say Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees? Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees? [RUM TUM TUGGER] His manner is vague and aloof You would think there was nobody shyer But his voice has been heard on the roof When he was curled up by the fire And he's sometimes been heard by the fire When he was about on the roof At least they all heard that somebody purred Which is incontestable proof Of his singular magical powers And I've known the family to call Him in from the garden for hours When he was asleep in the hall And not long ago this phenomenal cat Produced seven kittens right out of a hat [COMPANY] And we all say Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever? A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees [RUM TUM TUGGER] He's a marvel! [COMPANY] Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever? A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees [RUM TUM TUGGER] Magical Mr. Mistoffelees! [COMPANY] Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever? A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees [RUM TUM TUGGER] You'll never believe it! You'll never believe it! [COMPANY] Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees? [RUM TUM TUGGER] This cat defies belief! [COMPANY] Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees? [RUM TUM TUGGER] Can you believe this? Before your very eyes! [COMPANY] Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees? [RUM TUM TUGGER] Ladies and Gentleman, I give you the Marvelous, Magical Mr. Mistoffelees! [MISTOFFELEES] Presto!