Paul Simon — A Simple Desultory Philippic

Spoken: "A Simple Desultory Philippic Or How I was Lyndon Johnson’d Into Submission" [Verse] I was Union Jacked, Kerouac'd John Birched, stopped and searched Rolling Stoned and Beatled till I'm blind I've been Ayn Randed, nearly branded Communist 'cos I'm lefthanded: That's the hand they use, well, never mind! I've been Walt Disneyed, Diz Disleyed John Lennoned, Krishna Menoned Walter Brennan'd, punched out Cassius Clay I've heard the truth from Lenny Bruce And all my wealth won't buy me health So I smoke a pint of tea a day I knew a man his brain so small He couldn't think of nothin' at all He's not the same as you and me He doesn't dig poetry. He's so unhip that When you say Dylan, he thinks you're talkin' about Dylan Thomas Whoever he is The man ain't got no culture But its alright, Ma It's just sumpthin' I learned over in England I've been James Joyced, Rolls Royced Mick Jaggered, silver daggered Andy Warhol won't you please come home? I've been mother, fathered, aunt and uncled Tom Wilsoned, Art Garfunkled Barry Kornfeld's mother's on the phone When in London, do as I do Find yourself a friendly haiku Go to sleep for ten or fifteen years