Randy Newman — Half a Man

This big old queen was standing At the corner of the street Waved his hanky at me as I went rolling by I pulled the truck up on the sidewalk And I climbed down from the cab With my tire-chain and my knife As I approached him He was trembling like a bird Raised the chain above my head She said, "Please, before you kill me Might I have one final word?" And this is what he said: "I am but Half a man Half a man I'd like to be a dancer But I'm much too large Half a man Half a man I'm an object for your pity Not your rage." [instrumental break] Uh, oh Oh, the strangest feeling Sweeping over me Both my speech and manner Have become much more refined I said, "Oh, what is this feeling? What is wrong with me?" She said, "Girl Happens all the time" "Now you are Half a man! Half a man! Look, you're walking And you're talking Like a fag!" Half a man I am half a man Holy Jesus What a drag