Randy Newman — Putin

[Verse 1: Randy Newman] Putin puttin' his pants on One leg at a time You mean he's just like a regular fella, huh? He ain't nothin' like a regular fella! Putin puttin' his hat on Hat size number nine You sayin' Putin's gettin' big-headed? Putin's head is just fine! [Verse 2: Randy Newman] He can drive his giant tractor Across the Trans-Siberian plain He can power a nuclear reactor With the left side of his brain And when he take his shirt off He drive the ladies crazy When he take his shirt off Make me wanna be a lady! It's the Putin Girls! [Chorus: Putin Girls] Putin, if you put it When you put it, where you put it? Putin, if you put it Will you put it next to me? Putin, if you put it When you put it, where you put it? Putin, if you put it Will you put it next to me? [Interlude: Randy Newman] Putin hates the Putin Girls 'Cause he hates vulgarity He loves his mother country And he loves his family He and his ex-wife Lyudmila Are riding along the shore Of the beautiful new Russian Black Sea Let's listen in, a great man is speaking [Verse 3: "Vladimir Putin"] We fought a war for this? I'm almost ashamed The Mediterranean Now there's a resort worth fighting for If only the Greeks or the Turks Would start to sniff around Oh, I'd bring the hammer down So quick their woolly heads would spin Woolly head, woolly head, woolly head Oh, wait a minute, even better What if the Kurds got in the way? Hey, Kurds and way, curds and whey! [Verse 4: "Vladimir Putin"] Sometimes a people Is greater than their leader Germany, Kentucky, and France Sometimes a leader Towers over his country One shot at glory They don't get a second chance I dragged these peasants Kicking and screaming Into the 21st century I thought we'd make it I must have been dreaming These chicken farmers and file clerks Gonna be the death of me [Bridge: "Vladimir Putin" and (Putin Girls)] I can't do it (Sure you can!) I can't do it! (Yeah, you can!) What makes you say that, girls? (Tell you why) (Cause you're the Putin Man!) [Alternate Chorus: "Vladimir Putin" and (Putin Girls/Choir)] Who whipped Napoleon? (We did!) Who won World War II? (The Americans!) That's a good one, ladies It's our turn to sit in the comfy chair (And you're the man, gonna get us there!) I don't know, Lenin couldn't do it I don't know, Stalin couldn't do it Now, they couldn't do it Why do you think I can? (You're gonna lead our people) (To the Promised Land) [Outro: "Vladimir Putin"] Oh, you're right! Cause goddamn, I'm the Putin Man!