Redman — Mr. Ice Cream Man skit

Mr. Ice Cream Man: Aye Ice cream goddamn it, let's go It's ice cream, I got ice cream right here What it is yo? I see y'all over here Come here, I got ice cream goddamn it How many of y'all want ice cream? Come on where y'all at, yo? Ice cream right here right here (I want some) Now what y'all little motherfuckers want? Come on and tell me yo (Vanilla!) Kid 1: Mr. ice cream man, why you curse so much? Mr. Ice Cream Man: Don't yo mamma curse? I'm on parole like your daddy, motherfucker Now what your little badass want yo? Kid 2: I want a vanilla cone With sprinkles and syrup And a li- and a little icing and a little i-i- Mr. Ice Cream Man: A-a-a-a- You stut-stuttering son of a bitch No you can't have shit, you bastard Give me a goddamn dollar motherfucker Mother: Hold up, you black motherfucker You need to watch the way you talk around these kids Especially to my son, you're a ice cream drunk driver You need to have a little more respect for these kids Mr. Ice Cream Man: Bitch Hold up bitch, Hold up bitch Bitch, Davris ain't give you full custody yet That ain't even yo goddamn son fully yet, motherfucker That's half your goddamn son Mother: Look, I'm not tryna hear this shit right now I'm not tryna hear this shit You fucking broke ass motherfucker Driving a ice cream truck Mr. Ice Cream Man: Well go to the goddamn library, you don't wanna hear it motherfucker And be quiet in there motherfucker Mother: Yeah I got a motherfucking trick for you I'ma call the police on yo ass Mr. Ice Cream Man: Yeah, yeah and the police-- Mother: Yeah I'ma tell them you selling drugs on the motherfucking ice cream truck Mr. Ice Cream Man: Yeah yo mama gon get locked up She buy her drugs from the ice cream truck, motherfucker Mother: See, what if I go in the house and get my husband He'll come out here and whoop your motherfucking ass Mr. Ice Cream Man: Can't nobody in your family whoop me Can't not goddamn one person in your family whoop me Mother: Oh really? My husband used to box golden gloves And he'll come out here and knock you out on the fucking first round Mr. Ice Cream Man: If he could put the pipe down He might could, motherfucker If he could put that smoke down one minute He might can whoop my ass But he'll never get to try, motherfucker Cause he ain't gon put the crack crack down Mother: You know what fuck you, motherfucker Fuck you, you fucking asshole Mr. Ice Cream Man: Fuck you and your mama, motherfucker Kid 2: Mr. Ice Cream Man, you're mean Mr. Ice Cream Man: I'm just like ya grandmama I'm just like her So get your little dirty ass out of here Give me a dollar or get the fuck out of here [Kids jeering] Man, gimme my vanilla with sprinkles! Mr. Ice Cream Man: Hold up motherfucker Hold up motherfucker Hold up you little dirty motherfuckers This is a motherfucking stick-up Kids: Oh no! Mr Ice Cream Man: Give me your motherfucking Nickels, quarters, skateboards Baseball cards, all that bullshit You got a gummy bear (Gimme my gummy bear!) Come here you little dirty bastard Give me your goddamn lunch money Your fucking lunch money Your combination to your locker (I need that for school, though) Your PSPs, all that bullshit (Not my phone!) You got some new Jordans on Come here you motherfucker with them Jordans (Leave that boy alone, he only five) Sit your motherfucking ass down, nigga (Get off him!) I want all that shit (Get off of him!) And your mamma phone number you motherfucker you Kid 2: Aww I'm telling my dad-I'm telling my dad I'm gonna get my daddy Mr. Ice Cream Man: And I'd love to stay here and kick it with y'all little dirty motherfuckers But I'm late for parole so get the fuck back I'm out of here you little dirty motherfuckers Announcer: Red's gone wild