Rick Springfield — Jesus Was An Atheist

[Verse 1] Jesus was an atheist, he was a friend of mine We hooked up in temple, back in Roman Palestine We became friends, it was the best of both worlds I was good at stealin' silver, he was good at bullyin' girls He said they're going to kill me, when we go out smokin' I thought he meant the cigarettes, but Jesus wasn't jokin' [Verse 2] Mary was a pragmatist, and virgin rolled in one One day she said to Joseph, "Joe, I think the time has come Your boy needs to get a job, try the laundromat" Joseph said, "He ain't my boy, I think we settled that" Mary said something about semantics with a smile Joe said, "I'm going drinkin', I'll be back in a little while" [Verse 3] I heard somebody say Jesus was a Capricorn Jesus told me once, on the day that he was born A giant super nova exploded in the sky He said he didn't know, what it was supposed to signify I lost touch with him, and he lost touch with me The next thing I remember, he was big in Galilee [Verse 4] We were walkin' in the desert trading big hits from a bong They said it was 40 days, it didn't seem that long I was trying to talk him out of such a pointless sacrifice He said it was the only way to get to paradise I said, "You might be high", he said I was mistaken But watching him die was truly heartbreaking [Verse 6] Jesus ascended, I guess you'd call it that I'm down here baby, what the hell you lookin' at? I sometimes wonder if we'd stayed friends How that might have changed the way this party ends? I know you all believe that Jesus was divine But Jesus was an atheist, he was a friend of mine