Rodgers & Hart — He and She

[LUCE] I was I You were you And now we're only we We are one Who were two Or we had better be [DROMIO OF SYRACUSE] I now you man and wife and magically you are the boss of me [LUCE] Though marriage made you mine for life It also made you think much less of me [DROMIO OF SYRACUSE] It only shows how little you know of it [LUCE] I know a pair who made quite a go of it [DROMIO OF SYRACUSE spoken] Who? [LUCE] He was a man, who was very fond of women She was a girl, who was very fond of men She had a taste, for both corpulent and slim men He wouldn't look, at a lady under ten She went abroad, just to find a man to marry [DROMIO OF SYRACUSE] He went abroad, just to find himself a wife [LUCE] She didn't want, any Tom or Dick or Harry [DROMIO OF SYRACUSE] He sought a mate, who'd be true to him for life [LUCE] She fell in love, with the angle of his eyebrow [DROMIO OF SYRACUSE] He fell in love, with the dimple on her knee [BOTH] And when they wed He went around with other women And she went with other men And that is he and she! [LUCE] He always said, I would like to have a daughter [DROMIO OF SYRACUSE] She always said, I would like to have a son She took to kids, like a duckling takes to water [LUCE] He always thought, having babies would be fun He told her this, on the very day he met her [DROMIO OF SYRACUSE] She said the wish, is the father to sport [LUCE] He bought a house, in the nursery he set her [DROMIO OF SYRACUSE] She helped the stork make its annual report [LUCE] He won renown as the father of a squadron [DROMIO OF SYRACUSE] She won awards for her prolificacy [BOTH] And just because And just because they loved their children They got married after all And that is he and she! [LUCE spoken] You dance divinely [DROMIO OF SYRACUSE] She was so pure, as the snow before it's driven [LUCE] He never smoked, and he never touched a drop [DROMIO OF SYRACUSE] When she said boo, she would ask to be forgiven [LUCE] When he would swim, he would always wear a top [DROMIO OF SYRACUSE] She wore no rouge, though she had a bad complexion [LUCE] He always prayed, every time he went to bed [DROMIO OF SYRACUSE] She was so kind, that she hated vivisection [LUCE] He loved his ma and he swore he'd never wed [DROMIO OF SYRACUSE] She was so chaste that it made her very nervous [LUCE] He loved to go to the vicarage for tea [BOTH] And when they died And when they died and went to Heaven All the angels went to Hell And that is he and she!