Rodgers & Hart — Off the Record

(Verse) It's really a wonderful job For fellows like George, Abe, and me, too It's great to shake hands with the mob And to hold every kid on your knee, too Ev'ry word that I speak goes in the headlines; When I speak, all the papers hold their deadlines But I've found a way of dropping a hint Or a glint Of the truth that the boys cannot print For instance For instance (Chorus 1) When I was only a governor and just a good-time Charlie A certain party came to me - he said his name was Farley Don't print it - It's strictly off the record He sat right down and talked to me till i was in a stupor And ended up by selling me the works of Fenimore Cooper Don't print it - It's strictly off the record I said, "You're quite a salesman; you've been sent here by the fates If you can sell these dreary books which ev'rybody hates Then maybe you can sell me the whole United States!" But that's off the record (Chorus 2) My messages to the Congress are a lot of Boola-boola I'm not so fond of Bankhead, but I'd love to meet Tallulah Don't print it - It's strictly off the record I sit up in my bedroom reading books like Silas Marner, And Sears and Roebuck catalogues to get away from Garner Don't print it - It's strictly off the record If i'm not re-elected and worst comes to the worst I'll never die of hunger and I'll never die of thirst I've got one boy with DuPont and another one with Hearst But that's off the record (Chorus 3) When I go up to Hyde Park, it's not just for the ride there It's not that I love Hyde Park, but I love to park and hide there Don't print that - It's strictly off the record Oh, sing a song of Boulder Dam, but what's a little song worth? We'll use it to throw razor blades, and maybe Alice Longworth Don't print it - It's strictly off the record And now I'd like to talk about some folks I used to know - Mr. John L. Lewis and his famous C.I.O "Frankie and Johnnie were sweethearts" But that's off the record (Chorus 4) My speeches on the radio have made me quite a hero I only have to say "My friends," and stocks go down to zero Don't print it - It's strictly off the record The radio officials say that I'm the leading fellow Jack Benny can be President and I'll go on for Jell-O Don't print it - It's strictly off the record It's pleasant at the White House, but I'll tell you how I feel: The food is something terrible - just sauerkraut and veal If Eleanor would stay at home, I'd get a decent meal But that's off the record (Movie Chorus) When I was courting Eleanor, I told her uncle Teddy I wouldn't run for president unless the job was steady Don't print it - It's strictly off the record We entertained the royalty, but we were never flustered We gave them Yankee hot dogs with Colman's English mustard Don't print it - It's strictly off the record I sit up in my study writing gags for Mr. Ickes And insults for the gentlemen who'd like to slip him mickeys Don't print it - It's off the record I scrapped the Prohibition Act when we required a bracer And finished up the Boulder Dam to give the boys a chaser Don't print it - It's strictly off the record And for my friends in Washington who complain about the taxes Who cares as long as we cannot be axed out of the Axis? Don't print it - It's strictly off the record I can't forget how Lafayette helped give us our first chance To win our fight for liberty, and now they've taken France We'll take it back from Hitler and put ants in his Japants And that is for the record