Rodgers & Hart — Oh Diogenes

[COURTESAN] There was an old zany who lived in a tub He had so many flea bites he didn't know where to rub He kept looking for an honest man Said I'm gonna find him, if I can If I could meet Diogenes today This is what I'd say Rub a dub dub Hop out of your tub Diogenes! Oh, Diogenes! Find a man who's honest Oh, Diogenes! Wrap him up for me Oh, Diogenes! Find a man who's solid⁠—stolid Hook that fish if he's in the sea Hunt him! Trail him! Catch him! Nail him! If he is free Have you got your stick? Have you got your lantern? Can you do the trick And produce him, please! Catch that fellow! Ring that bell Oh, Diogenes! [COMPANY] Oh, Diogenes! Find a man who's honest [COURTESAN] Honest! [COMPANY] Oh, Diogenes! [COURTESAN] Wrap him up for me [COMPANY] For you [COURTESAN] Oh, Diogenes! [COMPANY] (ge-nes) [COURTESAN] Find a man who's solid [COMPANY] (solid) [COURTESAN] Stolid [COMPANY] (stolid) [COURTESAN] Hook that fish [COMPANY] Doo-doo [COURTESAN] If he's in the sea! [COMPANY] Hunt him! Trail him! Catch him! Nail him! [COURTESAN] If he [COMPANY] (If he) [COURTESAN] Is [COMPANY] (If he is) [COURTESAN] Free! [COMPANY] (If he is free) [COMPANY] Have you got your stick? Have you got your lantern? Can you do the trick And produce him, please! [COURTESAN] Catch that fellow! Ring that bell, Oh [ALL] Diogenes!