Rolf Harris — Football Crazy 1997 version

[Verse 1] Now, you all know my wee brother And his name is Jock McGraw And he’s lately joined a football club For he’s mad aboot football And he’s had three black eyes already And teeth out frae 'is gob Since our Jock became a member o' That terrible football club [Chorus] Oh, he’s football crazy! He’s football mad! And the football, it has robbed him o' The wee bit o' sense he had And it would take a dozen skivvies His clothes to wash and scrub Since our Jock became a member o' That terrible football club [Verse 2] Now, the first match he took part in I was there me-self, and saw He had two half bricks for the goal posts And a tin can for the ball The Provost o' Glasgow, he was there With lords and ladies fair... Our Jock ran out and kicked the tin can Two miles in the air! [Chorus] And, oh, he’s football crazy! He’s football mad! And the football, it has robbed him o' The wee bit o' sense he had And it would take a dozen skivvies His clothes to wash and scrub Since our Jock became a member o' That terrible football club [Verse 3] In the middle o' the field at Hampden Park The captain says “McGraw! Would ye kindly take this penalty kick Or we’ll never win at all!" So he ran like mad, and he kicked the ball And it went up like a cork And the ball went sailin' over the stand And headin' for New York [Chorus] And oh, he’s football crazy! He’s football mad! And the football, it has robbed him o' The wee bit o' sense he had And it would take a dozen skivvies His clothes to wash and scrub Since our Jock became a member o' That terrible football club [Instrumental break – interpolation of the Match of the Day TV theme.] [Verse 3] Now, his wife says she will leave him That's if he disnae keep Right away from football kickin' In the nighttime, when he’s asleep For he calls her Eric Cantona And other names so droll Last night he kicked her out of the bed And shouted "It's a goal!" [Chorus] And oh, he’s football crazy! He’s football mad! And the football, it has robbed him o' The wee bit o' sense he had And it would take a dozen skivvies His clothes to wash and scrub Since our Jock became a member o' That terrible football club